


Maths Notes and Flower Doodles

by DavineNaughter



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Attack, Bullying, Fluff, High School AU, Homophobic slurs(like one in like chapter 7), I swear, It actually is fluff though it's artsy fluff don't be scared child, Jock!Dan, KickTheStickz - Freeform, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Violence, artist!Phil, but no really it's fluff, injuries, its a marshmallow spread okay, lots more fluff, physical and verbal harassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-03 16:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 39,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5298626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DavineNaughter/pseuds/DavineNaughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Lester is that dorky guy who always doodles on everything. Dan Howell is the school's most popular boy and star athlete. They don't see much of each other, and when they do it generally involves punches and Phil getting injured. But then they're sat next each other in a couple classes and paired together on a project, and that may change. Throw in some homophobic douchebags, a super sassy sexual Chris, and a sprained wrist, who knows what could happen. Based on a Tumblr post.</p><p>(aka the one where I try to find as many different and creative ways to describe brown eyes as humanly possible - and trust me, there are a lot)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Wait, class, before you start to work on the homework, I've got a new seating chart for tomorrow! We've got two minutes, just please take a moment to look at where you sit. These will be your seats for the next unit, and be prepared: it's the longest one of the year," Mrs. Harolds said as she put up a printed out sheet of paper with a quick diagram of the classroom with students' names on it under the projector.

I groaned at my teacher. This had been the one seating arrangement I had liked in a long time, because I got to sit next to my friend Pj. I got to sit next to one of the very few people in my school who weren't complete dickheads, and I also got to sit in the front. I never got to ever sit in the front because I was taller than most, but my maths teacher used a randomised computer program, so I got to be by the board. I wasn't a nerd or anything, if anything I was struggling in this class. I could never focus, I doodled too much, and that's why it was beneficial to have the least amount of distractions possible. This included the dickheads that generally sat between me and the board.

So I reluctantly shoved my homework into my binder, which was bursting at the seams. I grabbed my bookbag and attempted to shove the binder into the constricting fabric, when (just my luck) it decided to actually burst, all my doodle covered notes coating the floor.

I groaned again and leaned down to pick it up, starting to gather the papers. As I went to grab my history notes from earlier that day, an athletic shoe slammed down on it, belonging to none other than the most aggressive jock in school: Dan Howell.

"Nice doodles, Phil," Dan said sarcastically. "You can't do sports, and you're even too dumb to be a nerd? What are you good for then? Why do you even try? You're hopeless." The thing about my school was that the bullies were actually insulting, not just thugs. The physical prowess was just an added bonus.

Now I had always been a dork. That much was clear. I never wasn't doodling. Art was the only class I wasn't, I supposed, because then it was doing class work. I liked art class. I was never athletic enough, confrontational enough, or not pathetic enough to be popular. I was okay with that.

But when Dan moved his foot too quickly and nearly ripped my paper, the one I had spent serious time drawing a picture instead of just doodling on, I called out "Hey!" Before I could stop myself. The bell rang.

I froze mid grab, and Dan almost seemed a little shocked for a second. "What, you got a problem with that?" Dan shouted, but before he even started I had grabbed my papers and was out the door.

I was around the corner by the time Dan was recycling his maths sheet from today, as all the popular idiots did with their schoolwork after class.

* * * * *

Luckily I only had one class with Dan Howell, and I doubted I was important enough for him to tell his friends about. I was pretty under the radar. Everyone picked on me, sure, and Dan tended to focus on me, but it wasn't real hatred. I was just an easy target and they liked picking on people.

I was always the first one to maths, and the jocks always pushed it to the bell, so I got there and sat down.

Mrs. Harolds smiled at me. Even though I wasn't the smartest, she was nice. "Oh, Phil, you must've forgotten. We got new seats, you don't sit there anymore."

Oh that's right, in my rush from Dan I hadn't looked. "I'm sorry, I can't remember quite where I sit, could I see the chart again?"

"Why of course dear!" She shoved a paper across the desk at him.

"Thanks Miss," I smiled back and walked over as other students started filtering into the room.

I looked at the chart and rolled my eyes. Of course even the computer put me in the back, but Pj got to stay in front. I scrunched my nose to see that he was sat next to someone else quiet and decent. I nearly retched when I saw who I was sat next to. No. No no no. Oh god. Dan flipping Howell.

Of course it was Dan Howell.

I took a deep breath and turned around, scurrying to the back of the room. I plopped my bag down next to my chair and sat down, slowly accepting my fate. I definitely did not need any more of a reason to draw attention to me after my outburst and manly flee yesterday.

Every time the door open my heart jolted and I forced myself to look. Eventually it was Pj, and I met him by his desk, eager to escape my corner for a few minutes. Pj had a sly grin on his face and a chuckle bursting out as I walked up.

"Nice table partner you got there," Pj giggled, and I just collapsed my head into my hands in defeat.

"Shut up. This is stressing me out, Peej. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't laugh," I pouted. He laughed one more time and I glared up at him.

"Sorry, sorry, just getting it out of my system. No but seriously, I feel for you, man."

Then bell rang and I groaned. "See you later," I mumbled, trudging back to my seat. 

Just as the bell finished its annoying whine, Dan walked in and sauntered over to me. "Hey dork. Look, I'm tired, I'm going to sleep. You better not snitch, I know you're a teacher's pet."

I looked down at my binder. "Wouldn't dream of it," I muttered, relieved he didn't even seem to remember yesterday. I couldn't deal with that.

"And that's with the threat of a beating," Dan added on half heartedly as he basically fell into the chair next to me.

He seemed to pass out immediately, and I was more than alright with that. A notes sheet was passed back, and almost as reflex I started doodling on it. I drew two little flowers in the corner, but then Mrs. Harolds' shrill voice rang over everything.

"Daniel!" Dan jolted awake next to me. "I do hope you weren't sleeping in my classroom."

He gulped. "Oh course not, Miss," he mumbled.

She rolled her eyes. "I'll give you a warning, Daniel," she said and went back to teaching.

It was my turn to gulp. "I swear I didn't tell," I whispered to Dan.

"Yeah yeah, just give me the notes, Lester," he replied as he ripped the paper out from my hands. I hadn't even realised there were two, but I still had one. I shrugged and kept doodling.

Dan was practically out the door by the time the bell rang, and I sighed in relief. I carefully gathered my things and walked towards the door, but my eye was caught by something in the recycling bin. I reached down and grabbed the top sheet, staring in disbelief.

It was Dan's notes, the ones he recycled everyday without even the respect to leave the room first, but today it was different. In the corner there were the two flowers I had doodled, but he had drawn more. There were tons more, along with grass and trees and a sun.

I smiled to myself as I folded the sheet and tucked it into my pocket.


	2. Chapter 2

I was really excited when I found Dan's notes, and I wasn't quite sure why. It's not like I could use them against him, everyone would just think they were mine. And also, it wasn't exactly a dirty little secret, everybody doodled, right?

But Dan Howell didn't doodle. Dan Howell played football and beat kids up after class. Most days he didn't even have a pencil for notes, he wouldn't be caught dead drawing.

That's why I was so surprised when I sat down in art class, got out my pencils of varying darkness, and the teacher motioned me over to her desk.

"Yes ma'am?" I smiled at her. She wasn't my favourite teacher, but she was nice enough, and she taught art. Art was my favourite time of day. Art was my favourite part of life, if I was being honest. I loved my family, but I would've much rather be drawing or painting than spending time with them.

"Ah, Philip. So I don't think I have to tell you that you're the best student in this class. You always pick up on the techniques quickly and all your work is beautiful. I've also noticed you're pretty far ahead on our current project, would you say so?"

I nodded, not quite sure where this was headed. "Yeah, I'm almost done with it, just need to shade the corner and fine tune some things."

"Wow, everyone else isn't even half done. Good job, Philip. But I have another job for you for the next few days, if you're up for it."

"Sure. What is it?"

"There's going to be a new student joining the class today, and it would be a big favour if you'd show them the ropes, tell them what we're doing, help them if they need it. You'd get extra credit for it too."

I smiled. I had done this once in the past, and it had been great, that was actually how I met Peej. The extra credit wasn't bad either. But that was last year, and I didn't have any friends in my art class anymore, so I was happy for a chance to make a new one. People never approached me, because I was a weak dork, but once they started talking to me, I was a pretty likeable and friendly person. I just hoped this person was nice.

"Oh course! That sounds brilliant, actually. Who is it?"

She smiled and clapped her hands together. "Perfect! Thank you Philip, that's really very kind of you. And he should be here soon... Ah! There he is now!"

I heard the door open behind me, and spun around straight away in anticipation. My mouth nearly fell open and I instinctively flinched and looked at my shoes as I was greeted with none other than Dan Howell.

"Ah, Daniel, so glad you could join us! Philip here has just agreed to show you what we're doing and teach you about the project, so you'll be working with him for the next few days. Don't worry, he's the best student I've got, so you're in good hands," she beamed.

I finally looked up again to find Dan staring at me, just as shocked as I was, and when our eyes met his narrowed into a glare. I averted my gaze again, but kept my chin up this time. Dan turned to the teacher. "Do I really have to work with him? He's so..." he trailed off. He looked as though he was about to insult me further, but met the teacher's warning glare and just sighed. "Let's just say we don't quite get along."

I could feel the teacher resisting rolling her eyes. "If he can be mature about it, so can you. You're not always going to be best friends with everyone you come across, Daniel, but that doesn't mean you get to ignore them. Think of it as a life lesson."

Dan muttered something snappy under his breath that I didn't quite catch, but anyone a mile away could've picked up on the agitated and disrespectful tone. "Daniel! I'm sure you don't want a detention on your first day of this class, no?"

He looked at her rebelliously, and for a moment I thought he might sass her back and I wouldn't have to see him again till tomorrow, but he just looked defeated and shook his head after a few seconds.

She seemed please. "Good. Now run along boys, you've got work to do."

I turned around and started walking back towards my seat. Usually I would let him lead and follow along meekly, but the art room made me more confident.

We sat down and I went back over to the supply cupboard. I gathered up another set of shading pencils, a piece of thick paper in the correct size for this project's format, and a photo reference because in this stage of the project all the props had been cleaned up.

I walked back over to where he was sitting at my table and set the items in front of him.

"So right now we're doing still life pictures. Basically you draw this scene," I pointed at the photo reference, "and make depth by shading with all these different pencils," I gestured to the variety of pencils. "Any questions? I'm not sure how familiar with this you are."

He glared at me, and I took the spiteful silence as a no. I shrugged and plopped down next to him, resuming my own drawing of some bottles.

After about two minutes I heard a frustrated sigh next to me, but I didn't look up until Dan started to speak. "Okay, I don't know what I'm doing."

I turned towards him, smirking at the small victory I had never really felt in any situation with Dan. He was always my superior. "Anything more specific you're confused on?"

He didn't make eye contact while asking for help, I noticed. "Just... All of it."

I raised my eyebrows at him, waiting for him to elaborate. After a solid minute of him trying to word his question, he sighed again. "Why are there different pencils? Can't you just press harder with a normal one?"

"You can, but that's pressure shading, and that's not what we're doing here. Each of these pencils is a different shade, on a scale called the HB scale. It's pretty big, but in this class we just use 6H to 6B. You can see what each pencil is here," I explained, pointing to the bottom side of a random pencil, 4B.

He grabbed the pencil from me and looked at the markings on all of them. "But what does that mean? What's the difference between 6H and 6B? And what's HB? They all look the same to me," he said with gestures of frustration.

I giggled at his childish flailing, and pointed to the reference on the board. "It's just a system for telling you how dark the grey is. HB is what normal pencils are, right in the middle. 6H is the closest to white, 6B is just black. 6H counts down to HB as it gets darker and then it counts up to 6B as it gets darker. We're just using HB, 2, 4, and 6 though, so it shouldn't be too hard. Use different ones instead of pressure shading. Does that make sense?"

Dan nodded slowly and not very convincingly, but I let it go. "Any other questions?" I asked.

"No," he snapped at me, and I just shrugged again. I'd let him preserve his pride, that was fine. He would ask for more help tomorrow, but today I could just work on my piece.

I happily spent the rest of class shading, and by the time the bell rang I only had a little left to do. If Dan weren't here, I'd be done in two more classes, including touch ups.

I smiled, pleased with myself, as I put my materials away, taking Dan's as well considering he wouldn't know where to put them. He silently accepted it without us needing to speak, and luckily he just followed everyone else on where to put his drawing on the rack.

I walked away, sighing as I wasn't done with the day. I still had to sit through history class. At least I didn't have to see Dan anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I'm not adding a note because I'm posting this at the same time as chapter 1 so just read those. Key points: written mostly by my friend Alison, PLEASE FEEDBACK COMMENTS ARE LIFE


	3. Chapter 3

Before going to history class, I quickly headed to the toilets. While washing my hands, I quickly zoned out in the mirror. My attention span for life was short anyways, but mirrors were just such melodramatic objects that seemed to demand general contemplation.

Until yesterday my existence as a mildly tormented art dork had been peaceful. Now all my teachers were shoving me with my bully, and even making me work with him on /art/. Art was my happy place, and they had taken that away from me.

I turned off the tap with a sigh, hefting my backpack over my shoulder and heading towards the door. I didn't see a puddle that was next to the door, and I slipped over and face planted on the tiles. I heard some papers scatter, and I landed straight on my right wrist. I heard it crack, and it hurt like hell.

I groaned and reluctantly picked up my scattered papers, wincing every time I bent my wrist. I decided to stop by the nurse's office before class.

* * * * *

The nurse prescribed me with an ice pack -which, while it didn't do much, I was immensely grateful for- and gave me a pass to class. I just had to survive history, and then I could go home and sleep. I didn't even have much homework to attempt before I got frustrated and quit to go on Tumblr.

I begrudgingly opened the door, fumbling a bit with just my one hand. I had to shove the door a bit harder than usual because of that, and I ended up awkwardly stumbling over my feet and nearly falling a second time. I managed to catch myself before I injured myself further, but heard a few distinctive snickers throughout the room, blushing as I scurried over to where my teacher had paused mid sentence. I thrust the pass into his hand and rushed over to my desk, trying to save myself from further embarrassment.

As I made my way over to my seat, I spotted a book bag at the seat next to mine. No one sat in that seat though. I stared at it quizzically until I reached my chair, nearly stubbing my toe along with everything, only stopping myself with the instinct I've developed (out of necessity) over the past years to avoid embarrassing situations.

So I plopped down in my seat, allowing myself a moment to be relieved I didn't manage to make an even bigger fool of myself while walking over to my desk. Then I turned to see who sat next to me now, and I nearly retched.

I was sure my eyes went wide as I met the exasperated look of Dan Howell in the seat next to me. In the shock of seeing him there I somehow lost all inhibitions not to speak to him unless spoken to (an unspoken rule between us, ironically enough), and blurted in a harsh whisper, "Why are you here?"

That earned me a narrow eyed glare and he opened his mouth to speak. I gulped as sense rushed back to me and I was immediately flooded with regret.

"Phil!" I snapped my head to look at where the teacher addressed me, cutting Dan off before he could even speak. "First you're late to my class and now you're talking over me." Oh. My whisper must've been louder than I thought. Whoops.

"Sorry sir," I mumbled.

He stared at me for a moment as if thinking about what to do next, and then said, "Well I don't appreciate it. If I find you disrupting the class again I'm going to have to give you a detention."

"Yes sir," I replied, nodding with my best goody-two-shoes face.

To my relief he got back to the lesson, because if I got a detention my parents would flip.

I winced as I tried to doodle and ended up hurting my wrist more. I groaned, making sure to be quiet this time. Great. I couldn't even doodle, the one saving grace to everything at school. I tried and outstandingly failed to actually follow what the teacher is saying for once, but found him as tedious as I remembered and found myself unable to even copy the notes on the board. All trying to pay attention had accomplished was reminding me of why I didn't pay attention.

About halfway through the period the teacher told us to discuss some questions with the person sitting next to us, and I sighed internally and prayed Dan isn't going to be bitter about my outburst earlier.

To my surprise he merely discussed the actual questions, remaining completely neutral toned throughout the entire discussion. It was strange, seeing as he had never been anything but hostile towards me, but I sure as hell wasn't complaining.

Don't get me wrong, he definitely wasn't being nice. He wasn't helping me when I was confused or anything like that. If that had happened to be honest I probably would've just exploded from shock. But he was just being focussed and rational, only rolling his eyes at my stupidity rather than verbally attacking me. Dan didn't even look like he was planning on beating me up later. It was an odd, almost surreal sensation.

The rest of class was rather uneventful, so I left my seat rather uneasily. It felt like either something had changed or that I was going to get the hardest pummelling ever tomorrow. Probably the latter. God, Dan sure knew how to torture, leaving my hanging like that.

But I got up to leave the room, and awkwardly stood in front of the door, trying to figure out how to go about opening it without falling into the masses of people in the hall. I heard someone clear their throat behind me and sheepishly turned around to see Dan standing there. God, was he going to beat me up /and/ make me miss the bus? Crap.

I dodged out of the way quickly, and to my utter relief he just passed by and opened the door. I just sort of stood there looking at the ground, waiting till he had gone to move forwards further. After about ten seconds I looked up and was confused to see Dan still there, holding the door. He nodded me towards the hallway and gave me a look mocking how dumb I was for not getting it.

I blushed and quickly scurried past him, at the last second turning around to say thanks, but he was already down the hallway, so I just shrugged and went to my locker, grabbing my coat and heading for the bus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, tell me what you think! Comments are my life force and criticism is what I strive off of! Yay, now that that's out of the way.  
> Heeeyyy peeps, sorry this took so much longer than the other parts, I've just been super busy, as always. But I prioritised this over my other docs because it seems to be what the most people want more of.  
> But never fear, updates will come eventually! I haven't actually abandoned everything, despite what my vampire one said.  
> News(yes I'm never going to stop pretending people read these)  
> -Next chapter of my High School AU is in progress, but I have no clue when it'll be done  
> -I've got a fluffy oneshot happening soon  
> -I have started a sequel to Alone Together, because someone requested that! I'm really happy too, because I didn't realise how much I missed that world  
> -a smut has been started but not looked at in like forever so... Idk  
> -some people said they liked my Vampire/Time Travel thing, so I'm going to continue that, but currently I have no ideas... I'll keep people updated. Well this is long enough. Swell. Hope you enjoyed this!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SOSOSOSO SORRY FOR THE WAIT

After school my wrist never stopped hurting, and I convinced my mum to take me to the doctor. I learned that my wrist was sprained, and I wasn't allowed to write or draw for two weeks.

Life somehow found a way to make school worse.

Now instead of sitting there doodling and wishing I could go home, I was forced to sit there imagining all the ways I could impale myself with a pencil that would let me get sent home.

Now don't get me wrong, the whole day was utter misery, but nothing was worse than art class. I couldn't even draw in art class! I was so close to finishing my picture, too. And that meant I would probably just have to babysit Dan the whole time while he whined and tried to understand something he clearly had no interest in.

So with great reluctance I walked into the art room and slouched over to the teacher. "Um, excuse me Miss?"

She whirled around from where she was hunched over her desk and beamed at her favourite student. "Ah, Philip, what can I do for you?"

Phil sighed. "I sprained my wrist, and the doctor said I'm not supposed to write or draw."

"Oh, that really is a shame, so close to finishing your piece as well!" I grit my teeth as the teacher unknowingly added insult to injury. "Well, at least since you're so far ahead you probably won't be late finishing, and you can help Dan more if he needs it! Oh, here he is now! Perfect. Run along now," she said cheerily.

I bit my tongue and trudged over to my desk in the corner, hiding my head in my arms. After a moment or two a shadow looming over me made the darkness in my arms even darker, and a smug sounding voice pierced through the muffled background noise of the class. "What's the matter? 

I didn't want to look up. I /really/ didn't want to look up. But after a moment I steeled my face and met the eyes of a very smug Dan Howell. "I sprained my wrist, I can't draw." I wasn't even scared at this point, I was just so angry and tired of this day.

Dan hesitated for a moment, looking as though he was about to speak, but then just shook his head and gathered his supplies. Even through my haze I questioned the action. Dan had never held back, ever. Did he pity me for having sprained my arm? Dan was human after all, maybe he realised it would just be a dick move to make fun of my injury.

But that hadn't stopped him before. My mind whirred slowly back to life as I realised what must've happened. Had I just...stuck up for myself? Obviously it wasn't anything huge, I hadn't actually said anything monumental, but... That had never happened before.

Before I could think too much about it, Dan returned with his supplies and begrudgingly plunked down next to me. He determinedly looked anywhere but my face, seemingly set on not asking for help. I rolled my eyes, almost annoyed. Now I really had nothing to do.

So I sat for a solid five minutes staring at the clock, waiting for Dan to break down and swallow his pride. Once again I heard the distinctive defeated sigh coming from my right, and perked up. Usually I would go out of my way to avoid any sort of interaction between Dan and I, but I was just so /bored/.

Dan mumbled something that I didn't catch, and when asked to repeat himself just looked like he was going to punch my face in. Seeing as that was a legitimate possibility (he'd done it before) and I already broke my arm, I decided to cut him some slack. It must've been pretty humiliating having to ask me for help after all he had done me. It must have felt kind of like I always felt around me.

"I asked you to help me, you idiot," he said through gritted teeth.

"We've been over this, I'm going to need you to be more specific if you want help."

"Well I don't /want/ help, I just, kind of, you know..." he trailed off.

"No I don't, what?"

Dan sighed and pushed his fringe back from where it had fallen in his eyes. "I suck at drawing, okay?"

I raised my eyebrow. "Then why on earth are you taking an art class?"

"Look, I don't want to be here. They told me I had to have an art credit or I wouldn't graduate, so I figured I might as well get it out of the way sooner rather than later."

"Oh," I said stupidly. I didn't know exactly what I had expected the answer to be, but those maths notes had got me thinking...

"And if you hate me so much, why did you agree to help me?"

"I didn't know it would be you," I snapped. "And I get extra credit. I did it last year too," I added with a shrug.

Dan narrowed his eyes almost...defensively? No, it couldn't possibly be. I refused to believe Dan Howell was defending himself from me, even a little bit. "Really? Well who's the unlucky knob who was stuck with you then?"

"Pj. That's how we met actually," I said before I remembered I didn't actually want to share things about myself with the kid who had tormented me since the seventh grade.

Dan just snorted, looking smug again. "What's so funny?" I asked.

"It's just so like you. You couldn't even make one friend, the teacher made him for you. Classic."

I opened his mouth to reply again, but found I had nothing else to say. I ended up just staring at Dan's face while my mouth moved like a fish out of water, and after a few seconds of trying to think of a retort, I kind of sort of maybe zoned out just a little bit. Staring directly at Dan's eyes. Which were actually quite a lovely shade of brown, and the artist in me kind of wanted to paint them. My hand was itching for a brush, and the wrist brace somehow became even more frustrating.

After what was probably a few minutes (honestly I had lost track of the seconds), Dan awkwardly coughed and looked back at his artwork. I was snapped out of my trance by the soft brown fringe shielding those pools of magnificent brown from view. I felt all my blood rushing to my cheeks, and responded with an awkward cough/gaze aversion combo of his own.

"So, what do you need help on then?" I broke the silence after a few moments, mildly scared Dan would rebreak my arm after staring at him like a freak.

We only talked when necessary for the project for the rest of the period, but I found myself trying to look back into Dan's eyes, which I had never noticed were so beautiful before.

And when the bell finally rang, the awkward tension dissipated as Dan audibly sighed in relief and got up to put his materials away. I remembered that I had the rest of the day sitting next to Dan as well, and nearly groaned aloud. Today was going to be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make my world go round, tell me what you think please!  
> I would just like to say I am so immensely sorry I have neglected this fic. It's my most popular, and I know how excruciating it is to wait for new chapters. Trust me, I know that feel, if I were you I would kind of hate me.  
> But thanks so much to people who stick around ^.^  
> My next update is probably going to be the fabled chapter 2 of bottled up emotions or a part 3 to the together series, so look forward to that. For anyone that didn't see, my vampire thing is on hiatus officially, because I'm in over my head. I took on too many things, and I've been neglecting things because of school. But I will try my very best, and that's all I have to offer, so thanks to everyone who's still here(also special thanks/shoutout to phanfictioncatalouge who added me as an author)  
> <3<3<3<3<3


	5. Chapter 5

I groaned as I saw the brunette standing outside. Dan looked no better, if not pissed off at everything in his path. Some younger student walked a bit too close and Dan grabbed his book bag straps, effectively scaring the living daylights out of the poor kid.

I sighed and resigned myself to my fate, walking up to Dan. I looked down at his feet the whole way, approaching Dan from the back. When I reached my destination, I coughed and Dan whipped around, dropping the kid. The kid scurried away as quickly as he seemed to be able too now that Dan was distracted. He looked ready to punch whoever dared disturbed him, but saw it was me and settled for a harsh glare with narrowed eyes.

After a few moments of silence, it was clear that Dan wasn't going to acknowledge me beyond that, so with great reluctance I cleared my throat again. "So, we should...we should probably get going then..." I mumbled awkwardly.

Dan didn't say anything, and I couldn't bring my eyes up to see if he had changed his expression. Dan just turned on his heals and started walking briskly down the pavement and I followed a few paces behind, still keeping my head down.

Neither of us liked the situation. It was bad enough that we were forced to interact in class (especially art), but outside of school? Unthinkable. The only times that had ever happened naturally involved a lot of pain and taunting. And our history teacher expected us to do a project together without teacher supervision?

So that was how I ended up in such a situation: walking to Dan's house, fearing for my very life.

We hadn't spoken any more by the time we reached Dan's front door. Dan pushed it open before I got a chance to really look at it, but it was an average sized home with pretty blue shutters.

I followed Dan into the house and down a hallway that came out in the kitchen. "Mum, I'm home! And a friend's over!" he called out.

"Okay sweetie, have fun!" his mum responded from somewhere else in the house.

"Quick, let's get out of here before she wants to come meet my 'friend,'" Dan said with air quotes, rolling his eyes. "Are you hungry? Because I want food."

"Yeah," I said quietly.

Dan sighed exasperatedly. "Will you cut that out? I'm not going to punch you, I swear, and I'm getting tired of having to strain to here you."

I forced myself to talk at a normal volume, but couldn't seem to get myself to look up. "Right, sorry."

"Why are you so meek all of the sudden? In art class you're always sassing the fuck out of me, and out of it you won't even look me in the eye. What's your deal?"

I shrugged. "I like art. I'm good at it. It makes me more confident."

"Whatever. What do you want to eat? I've got some cheese and crackers," Dan suggested. I felt my nose scrunch up in distaste.

"I hate cheese," I said, looking mostly back up at Dan, but not quite. Dan stared at me blankly.

"You hate cheese? You're fucking with me right? You can't just hate cheese, that's inhuman."

"Well, I do," I said defensively, blushing. Why was I blushing? It was just Dan, Dan already knew I was a loser. Dan practically invented the fact that I was a loser. So why did I even care?

"Okay, well, would you rather have some popcorn, you freak? Or do you hate that too?" Dan said.

I felt myself smiling softly through his blush. "No, I love popcorn. It's my favourite."

So we stood in relative silence while Dan put two bags of popcorn in the microwave. Every now and then we would discuss what we were doing for our history project, and Dan would make fun of my ideas, but very few words were spoken between us.

When the snacks were prepared, Dan lead me up the stairs into his room, and I was quite shocked at what he found. I had envisioned a relatively plain room with some sports posters or even some video games(maybe), but I was most definitely not expecting what I was faced with. Posters lined all of the walls, spilling onto the ceiling, but they didn't feature athletes; the posters were of all of my favourite things. Included were Muse, Fall Out Boy, some Marvel movie posters, and anime. There was an entire bookshelf dedicated to all of my favourite films and anime and video games. Also rather shockingly, in the corner by a big window with plain black curtains covering the view was a keyboard and a desk coated in paintings.

"What?" Dan said almost self consciously. I snapped out of my trance at the room and blushed again. Ugh, what an annoying habit.

I cleared my throat, slightly afraid of talking too quietly again. "Nothing, just...your room is.../different/ than I expected, I guess..."

"What?" he snapped. "You got a problem with my room?" His tone was harsh, and I was worried I had crossed some sort of line.

"No, no, not at all Dan. It's just..." I trailed off, trying to word it so I wouldn't offend him. From experience, I knew offending Dan was not a good thing.

"Just what?" He bit his lip as he said it, and I couldn't help but stare at the flesh between his teeth for a few moments.

"Not what I expected, I gues-"

"What are you saying, Lester?" he interrupted harshly. I felt myself gulp at the tone.

"I just didn't expect you to like so many of the things I do. It's actually kind of cool," I mumbled the last bit tentatively. I really wasn't sure how he'd react.

He looked shocked. Dan's head whipped towards me and his mouth opened and closed a few times, sort of like a fish. He blinked, and I couldn't really tell what he was thinking. I subconsciously braced for impact.

"You...you like this stuff? Anime and video games and things?" I still couldn't decipher his expression, but I decided to take the fact that I wasn't sporting a new bruise yet as a good sign.

"Yeah, I love it. And you seem to have all my favourites. Also, these are the best bands of all time, easily."

"Really? None of my friends seem to think so..." he trailed off.

I scoff. "Well they definitely are. Muse is like my entire life." I didn't know where the sudden burst of confidence came from, but it seemed now like we were having a normal conversation. Which, honestly, felt weird. Really weird.

"Same though..." he said insightfully. Dan let his harsh gaze soften just slightly, but I noticed, and I also noticed that beautiful colour of his eyes again. I blushed and looked down, and it was silent for a few seconds longer before I couldn't stand it. Silence was intimidating.

"So...the project. Let's get to work."

"Yeah..." He coughed and scratched the back of his neck. "Or...we could say fuck it and play Mario Kart."

It was my turn to stare at him incredulously, but I quickly regained my composure. I was about to speak up again when he talked at the same time.

"No, forget it, let's just work on the-"

"No, let's do it."

We locked eyes for a moment, myself almost as shocked as him.

"Sure. I'll set it up then."

He turned around and picked up the game, motioning for me to follow him into another room.

I followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and tell me what you thought, that's my absolute favourite thing!  
> I am sososo sorry for the wait, I'm not going to give excuses, just say school. I've been slacking though, I apologise for making you wait because I KNOW THAT FEEL BRO IM SUCH A HYPOCRITE.  
> Also, for anyone reading HPTI, another chapter should be coming shortly, I'm horrible.  
> Whoops.  
> But here it is, hope you enjoyed!


	6. Chapter 6

It went on that way for about a week. Every day I would meet Dan after school and we would walk to his house. We made popcorn or got some candy (his favourite was Maltesers, I quickly learned) and then went up to his room. For a little while we tried to work on the project, we really did, but soon enough we broke down and played Mario Kart or just listened to music.

At some point I realised that I had started to think of Dan as a friend, and to be honest that was scary. For as long as I had known him Dan had just been this horrible threat to me, this omnipresent being there to make me doubt myself. It was unnerving to think of him as a person; it was too bizarre to consider him a companion. I tried not to think too much about it.

Because Dan was, in fact, a person, and he turned out to be a relatively amazing one. Sure, he was the school sports star, but he was also a giant nerd. I had brought this up, and Dan had just shrugged. "Guess my family's always been into sports, so I got into it too. It's too late now to stop though," he had said. I couldn't help feeling a bit bad for him, actually. Imagine that: me, feeling sorry for Dan Howell.

Dan was so much more enthusiastic about our shared interests, so we actually ended up with a lot to talk about. Sure, most of it was screaming at each other while playing video games or debating which Muse song was the best, but we were talking. It was so foreign, but it felt...natural, somehow.

One night, we were just sitting in his room, him on his bed and me on the floor, listening to Fall Out Boy. He was facing downwards, looking at the space next to me, and I was positioned with a clear view of his desk. Since I started hanging out over here, I had found his desk was my favourite thing to look at. It was completely covered in paintings and sketches. Not all of them were particularly great, or even decent for that matter, but some were better than anything I had ever managed myself. Not bragging or anything, I just acknowledged the fact that I was really skilled at art. Others had told me, and I had worked so hard to get to the level I was currently at.

Though despite the inconsistency of talent throughout the pictures, there was a clear consistent style. I could tell they were all done by the same artist, and they managed somehow to make blurry and impressionistic images look clear and defined. 

To say these paintings piqued my curiosity was an understatement.

Dan, though most definitely not the person I would've thought he was a week ago, was most definitely no art collector either. And based on what I've seen of his art in art class, he was only personally capable of some of the lowest quality work on the desk. No offence to Dan, just art was most definitely not his strong suit.

"Hey, Phil?" Dan said quietly. 

"Yeah?" I respond at a similar volume. It wasn't dark or particularly quiet in the house, but something felt off about speaking too loudly. Something felt wrong about breaking our little bubble of simple acquaintance we had developed.

"We should probably work on our project more, shouldn't we?" he said halfheartedly.

"Yeah, probably," I said in the same tone, turning over to face him.

We continued to just lay there in relative silence for a while, only the whole tone of the room had changed. I wasn't quite sure how, but me looking at him had made everything heavier. Or maybe lighter. I couldn't really decide.

I quickly found myself staring into his eyes again, for the millionth time wishing I could paint them. Everyone thought brown eyes were boring, and I did too until I saw Dan's. Dan's eyes made me feel warm in some way I never really had before. His eyes reminded me of hot chocolate and the chill of autumn surrounding the warm-toned leaves. His eyes made me feel like I was melting, but in such a way that I didn't have to move, like a world outside of them just didn't exist. His eyes made me question how I had never noticed how pretty they were before.

I broke my gaze slightly away, and instead let it roam over his entire face. His hair, a similar but softer hue than his eyes, swept over his face perfectly, framing his gorgeous features and accentuating the depth of his eyes. His face itself contained soft features, with a chin and cheeks that made me want to hug him. They contrasted nicely with his athlete's body, which I had had the unfortunate chance of experiencing the strength of many times before.

Now, looking at him in this light, it was hard to picture that Dan had ever been so mean. It was unfashionable to even think that he had beaten me up so many times, but now here I was, in his bedroom, listening to one of our favourite bands.

But he had. Dan had been nothing but awful to me since he moved here in year eight. I was an easy target, for some reason one that he had fixated on, and he had been the reason I almost transferred schools last year.

But he wasn't anymore. Somehow, in my head, Dan Howell had become synonymous to friend. It was unthinkable. But it felt good. It felt good to not have to be afraid anymore. It felt good to be able to really take in his face. It felt good that one day he might let me paint his eyes.

That's when I noticed he was staring back at me, and I felt myself beginning to freak out. I quickly looked away, almost as quickly looking back to offer some sort of apology. But before I could do that, I noticed he looked just as sheepish as me. I thought back to a moment ago, and realised he was looking at me...the same way I had been looking at him? No, it couldn't be. He seemed to at least not be questioning what I was doing, but more so embarrassed himself. I quickly decided to move on and ignore it, looking around frantically for something to talk about.

"So...where'd you get those paintings?" I went with, breathing a sigh of relief.

He didn't seem so relieved, his eyes anxiously flickering towards his desk. "What paintings?"

I furrowed my brow. "The ones over there," I gestured in the general direction of his desk, and he bit his lip. If the action wasn't so nervous, I was sure I would've taken more notice. "Who made them? They're really beautiful."

For some reason, his eyes started glazing over with tears, and I instinctually reached out and patted his shoulder. He stuffed his face in the pillow and I awkwardly kept petting his shoulder, unaware of what line I had crossed. "Dan? I'm sorry about whatever I said. I don't know exactly what it was but I'm sorry," I trailed off awkwardly.

After a few minutes of deep breathing into the pillow, Dan lifted his head up and looked at me, surprisingly composed. "Hey, Phil," he said even more quietly than before. "It's getting pretty late, you should probably be getting home. Wouldn't want your mum to worry..." 

I knew full well that it wasn't even dinner time yet, but, not knowing how else to handle the confusing situation, I just nodded. "Yeah, okay. See you in school, Dan."

"Bye."

And with that, he flopped back down on the bed and I left, repeatedly replaying the past ten minutes or so in my head, wondering what I had said wrong. It was going rather well, I thought...

All I knew was I was more curious than ever to know who had painted those pictures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me what you think, all criticism is welcome!  
> Okay I'm not even making excuses anymore, I know I suck at updating. But i got a chapter done.  
> For anyone reading HPTI, I am even more sorry, I've been neglecting that fic so much. Know I haven't forgotten it.  
> Also, since I've uploaded chapter 5, this fic hit 2000 reads!!! And then 2100! And then 2200!!!! That's mental. Thank you. I honestly don't deserve it with how crap I am at updating.  
> BUT WAIT, THERES MORE.  
> I have two ideas for fics in the works that I'm planning on initiating very soon and I NEED YOU OPINION: I can't decide whether to make one of them chaptered or a very long oneshot. What would people prefer?  
> ^.^


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is over 2500 words and it's still only like 2/3 of what I had planned. Someone fluffing restrain me.

I slept rather restlessly that night, my dreams infested with paintings and Fall Out Boy and tears in my hot chocolate. When I woke up to my alarm, I felt more tired than I had in a while, and was nearly late for school with how slowly I got dressed and ate my cereal. I honestly couldn't think of a single place I wouldn't rather be than school, but the fact that it was Friday made me force myself out the door.

I had found out recently that not doodling in class didn't make me learn any more than I did before. Every time I thought about not being able to for a whole nother week I had to bite my lip to not groan aloud. Doodling had always been the one thing that kept me sane amidst all of the loud bells and crabby teachers and bullies and iffy grades.

Honesty I didn't know how I had lasted this long.

Yet I trudged into the unwelcome building with my head down. I walked to my locker and hurried to my first class, relieved that Pj was in the class I had today and I would have some form of entertainment until first bell rang.

I entered the classroom to find Pj in the front corner, and smiled as I approached him. "Hey Peej. How've you been?"

"Hi Phil. I've been alright. You? Feels like I haven't seen you in ages, you've been busy working on that project after school all week," he replied.

"I've been pretty good, though I will say it's a bit weird to be over Dan Howell's house," I made a face, still off put by the concept. Though even so, I smiled at the thought of Dan, because it just made me happy. That is, until I remembered the paintings and how I made him cry and how I still don't really know what I did wrong.

Pj's eyes got wider. "Wait wait wait, the person you've been working on this project with is Dan Howell?!? How come this hasn't come up sooner?" he questioned incredulously.

"Did I not? Oh...whoops. Yeah, we've been at his house every day for the past week for the project. It actually hasn't been too bad," I shrugged, almost embarrassed. Why was I embarrassed? I was allowed to be friends with whoever I chose, even if they were mean to me in the past. So why did it feel so wrong to say it out loud?

"And he hasn't beaten the shit out of you yet?" Pj raised an eyebrow. I nodded and he looked confused. "How have you managed that?"

"He's actually not too bad..." I trailed off awkwardly, still trying to figure out the correct phrasing of Dan and I's bizarre relationship. Pj kept staring at me, and I couldn't help but notice his eyes. Not that I had never noticed them before; they were fairly hard to miss. They were bright green and practically glowing radioactively. They were beautiful, if I was being honest, but this time I looked at them something felt different. Pj's eyes were striking, but almost too...too loud. They were bright, but almost in the way the sun was bright when you looked directly at it. I had to respect the aesthetic appeal, but I couldn't help but let my mind wander to Dan's eyes. They made me feel warm and they were soft and nice, like the moon illuminating the night, surrounded by stars.

When I realised I was staring at Pj's face, coupled with realising what thoughts going through my head, I couldn't help but blushing. I looked away quickly, but Pj seemed to have caught it, and started smirking at me.

"Developing a little crush, eh?" My head positively snapped up at the accusation, and my eyes widened.

"No! He's just, not as bad as I thought, is all..." I trailed off, blushing again and cursing my cheeks. Pj just laughed at me, and the bell cut me off before I could retort.

I glared at him and moved over to my seat, my face still positively on fire. I didn't have a crush on Dan. No way in hell.

But as the lesson went on, I couldn't quite help but daydream about autumn and hot chocolate and the moon. It was torture not being able to doodle about it.

* * * * *

I hated gym class. I hated almost every class, sure, but gym class held a special place in my heart as my least favourite thing. And of bloody course I sprain my wrist during the running unit: the one time that it doesn’t let me sit out and somehow manages to make gym class even more painful. The running unit in gym class literally meant we ran laps around a field for half an hour, and it was by far my least favourite part of existence.

Normally I stayed away from the alley by the field. Every gym class, a group of slackers and unfit weirdos(like myself, only cooler) always hid behind the school building, and the teachers clearly didn’t care. If you weren’t a star athlete, the gym teacher probably didn’t know your first name. Or your last name. Or what colour the kid with neon green hair’s hair was. So every day we were running aimlessly around a field for too long, six or seven kids escaped to this small alley made by the school building and a forest, doing everything from playing on a handheld gaming device to texting to each other to doing various drugs. I tended to avoid them, so I never got a chance to learn which ones.

But today was different. Today I had gotten even less sleep than usual, pains shot up my arm every time I swung it with my pathetic strides, I was thinking too much, and it was raining. Rain wasn’t exactly an anomaly (I lived in England, after all) and it wasn’t particularly pouring today, but coupled with everything else I just couldn’t take it. Besides, the water in my wrist brace was itchy as hell.

After a few minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore, and the next time I passed the alley I stopped and slugged over to the space between with five other kids. Two kids sat against the wall on game systems, very intense looks residing on their faces. Just past the tree line, two more kids were smoking something, both looking rather spaced out and kind of like they were about to make out. I quickly shifted my gaze away from those two, really not wanting to see if they went through with their plan. The last person in the alley was the kid with green hair, leaned up against a tree, talking to someone on a phone. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the world completely. My hands rested on my knees and I just focussed on breathing, a worryingly difficult task at the moment. I stayed like that until I was startled back to reality.

“You alright mate?” said a voice that was far too close to my face for comfort.

My eyes shot open and I was affronted by brown hair and brown eyes, disoriented as my mind went to Dan. But no, Dan’s fringe was straighter and softer and a different shade of brown. His jaw wasn’t that harsh, it had soft angles that were barely even angles and a bit of squish in the cheeks. His eyes definitely weren’t that shade of hazel, and the ones I was now facing definitely weren’t as warm and familiar. I blinked rapidly. “Yeah,” I eventually remembered to respond when he raised an eyebrow at me. He grinned then, as if getting me to speak was an accomplishment. I didn’t even know the kid.

"Really? You sure don't look it," he said.

"You startled me," I defended weakly.

"You looked really pale before I came over."

"I'm always pale."

"You seem out of breath."

"I suck at running and I've got a sprained wris-"

"AHA!" he practically shouted, holding his finger up dramatically. "So you're /not/ okay!" He looked proud of himself, and I couldn't help but raise my own eyebrow.

"Do I know you?" I asked skeptically, not recalling seeing this boy ever.

He made a face. "Nah, but you do now. Hi, I'm Chris," the boy -Chris- said, extending his hand to me.

I stared at it quizzically, trying to figure out how to shake his hand without breaking my wrist again. He raised an eyebrow. Again. I must've been such a weirdo.

"Do they not have handshakes here?" he asked, but where there should've been sarcasm there was none, and I was surprised.

"No, we do, but I sprained my wrist. My right wrist. I'm Phil, though," I offered lamely.

Something seemed to click in his head, and he grabbed my left hand with his right, shaking it very awkwardly. I couldn't help but giggle at the awkwardness, seeing as he was so confident about it. Never in my life had I met someone both awkward and comfortable with that fact. Then again, I hadn't encountered anyone more awkward than myself, either.

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Phil," Chris beamed at me. "I'm new here, in case you hadn't figured that out. Just moved here."

I raised an eyebrow. "Ah, so that's why I haven't seen you. Well, I'll warn you, I'm probably not the best person to befriend here," I sighed.

He didn't seem bothered by my words. "Maybe not, but everyone else I've talked to seems like a right douchebag. Can't say I'm the best at making friends. But then I saw you, hunched over in a rainy alley in the middle of PE, looking about to pass out with a black fringe soaked to your forehead, and I thought 'This kid looks on my level.'"

I laughed. "Well, I'm glad I looked so pathetic then," I said, smiling to him while he smiled back. I kind of liked this Chris kid.

"Oi, Lester seems to have made a friend!" a deep and grungy voice called from the track. I flinched.

I closed my eyes to Chris' confused expression, hoping that maybe if I didn't acknowledge them they'd go away. Of course, that's not how it worked. I heard something squelch in the mud, and looked up in time to see Chris knocked to the ground. A single kick met his side, but (luckily for him), they quickly lost interest and turned their attention to me. I finally looked up and surveyed the group before me.

I was faced with four of the best players of the school's football team. Front and centre was the star player, a boy named Joe. Flanked on either side were his lackeys, Liam and Tyler. This was not exactly a sight unfamiliar to me, and my head winced at the memories, attempting to brace me for what was to come. Only this time something was different from usual. Usually the fourth member of the little band of assholes was up next to, even ahead of Joe. But now, he stood in the back.

At the back of the group stood Dan.

Dan wasn't usually in my PE, but adding art in the middle of his day had almost completely rearranged his schedule, and while I used to only have maths with him, I now spent almost half the day in the same class. But I was surprised, to be honest. And I hated it. How was it, that in less than a week, I had let my guard down so much that seeing Dan in this group made my heart hurt? How had he tricked me? I must have tricked him too though, seeing as he was in the back. His head was down, and I couldn't see how those stupid eyes looked. Those stupid beautiful eyes that made me feel like I was flying.

Those eyes weren't here now. Now it was only rain and mud and my new friend on the ground and me not far behind him. So why did I feel so betrayed? I was such an idiot.

"So, this your boyfriend fag?" Joe said menacingly.

"Nah Joe, who would go with that useless fuck?" Liam exclaimed, laughing stupidly with Tyler. Dan didn't laugh. Dan didn't say anything.

"Just piss off, Joe," I said through gritted teeth. "What did I ever do?"

"That's a good question, but it has a simple answer: nothing. You've done nothing, ever. You're pathetic, and you don't deserve our respect. Or our mercy, you little shit," Joe retorted. I flinched at the words. The group advanced, and soon I was enclosed in a neat little half circle pinning me against the bricks. Dan still didn't look at me, but he joined in.

"You know, we've been lazy lately. Haven't kicked your arse in a while. Though something tells me it hasn't gotten any harder," Tyler said.

I refused to bring my arms up to shield my face, hoping staying still would delay the inevitable as long as possible, but I had them ready to fly up in defence at the slightest movement. "Dan, you seem quiet today," Joe said after a moment. My head shot up to look between the two. Joe was looking quizzically at Dan, who was still looking straight down. His head popped up a bit at the words, but I still couldn't see his eyes.

"Am I?" Dan asked. Something in his voice was off. He was less confident than usual. I almost let myself hope -but I didn't.

"What, Howell, you going soft? You sympathising with the little fag?" Joe taunted, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"No," Dan practically growled at him.

"Prove it."

The words hung in the air for a moment. For the next few seconds, time seemed to go in slow motion. Dan looked at me for the first time since they all showed up. I saw those warm autumn eyes, only they were cold. It was like the rain had flown into them, tainting the beauty and making them dirty, ugly almost. Like they always were before. He raised his arm, and curled his hand into a fist. My arm flew up in front on my face, but not quite in time, as his knuckles made contact with my left eye. I whimpered in pain as my head slammed back against the bricks, collapsing to the ground.

At that moment, the gym teacher blew their whistle somewhere off in the distance. Joe smiled evilly at Dan while Liam and Tyler just laughed, and then they all jogged away. I felt a hand clasp my shoulder and my whole body flinched away from the touch. I braced again for impact, but when none came I opened my eyes to see Chris next to me, offering a hand to help me up.

Offering a weak smile, I gratefully took it, despite not being able to help feeling slightly disappointed (and absolutely hating myself for it). When I stood, my hand immediately shot out to steady myself on the wall as blood pounded through my head. I regained my bearings and nodded to a worried looking Chris, silently reassuring him I was okay to walk. And we did. Slowly we walked back to the locker rooms, not saying anything the whole way.

I felt cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE COMMENT AND GIVE ME FEEDBACK  
> COMMENTS MAKE MY LIFE  
> Huzzah, I'm back in school as I still updated two things within a week. You're welcome.  
> Can I just say thank you to phanfictioncatalogue and whoever told them someone was looking for Alone Together(even though they weren't, oh well), because that night I got many reads and three comments on things I put up months ago. I was so confused when I woke up XD  
> I've decided to actually get my act together and update things regularly on my Wattpad and clean up my Tumblr(I still need to work out a few format things, but that should be a thing soon). Here will still be my priority, but I like the idea of being able to talk even when I don't have a new chapter XD  
> Okay, about that thing I asked whether it should be chaptered or oneshot: everyone said chapters so you get stuff sooner. Here's the deal. I'm doing chapters, but I'm probably going to write most(if not all) of it before posting any so I can have regular postings and clean this up. Because this is something I'm really proud of and want to edit and I have a whole story planned out and yay. Be excited.  
> Uh, yeah, that should be it. Another HPTI chapter should be next, or the romance and banging and shit for the Together universe. Yes that's still a thing.  
> Oh my, I'm rambling.  
> Thanks for a few hundred more reads on this: that's fluffing insane.  
> Thanks for the people who have actually gone out of their way to talk to me: I love you so much.  
> BYE THANKS


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the absolute monster that was the romance and banging and shit, it felt like under kill to write a normal, 1.2k chapter of this. MEH

Chris was in my lunch. That was good. I could always use more friends, especially in a place like the cafeteria. While I didn't generally get beat up in the cafeteria (there were far too many staff members present for that), the more people surrounding me meant the more I blended in. Blending in was a useful skill in crowds, because it meant everyone just left me alone. So I was glad to walk Chris from the gym to the cafeteria.

"Hey, Peej," I greeted as I approached the otherwise empty table. "This is Chris, he's new here."

Pj smiled over at he brunette, who was grinning back. Chris reached out his hand for Pj to shake. "Hi, Pj. In these past few minutes Phil here has told me so much about you. As in, you're a guy, who's nice, who I am now allowed to claim as my friend. Pretty cute, too, if you don't mind me saying," Chris said with a cocky grin. I just stood there baffled at how anyone could possibly be that confident and forward. Pj blushed, but never took his hand.

Chris looked down at his own, worried, then looked back at Pj with raised eyebrows. "You didn't sprain your wrist too, did you? Because that'd be terribly awkward," he said, causing Pj's eyes to widen whilst his cheeks turned pinker. He shook his head a little and reached his hand up to meet Chris'. I stifled a laugh.

"Sorry," Peej mumbled as Chris' face lit up once more.

"No problem. Just glad to know someone's healthy around here," he responded with an inhumanly happy grin. I was mesmerised at how outgoing and positive this new human being I had stumbled across was. I was glad for it, actually. I thought I could use some extra positivity after the couple of days I'd had.

"Hey, Peej?" I asked. He snapped his head up, blushing again, and I raised an eyebrow. He looked embarrassedly back and forth between Chris and I, and a small smirk found its way to my lips.

"Yeah?" 

"I was just wondering if we had any maths homework I forgot about," I said, holding back giggles. Pj was clearly checking Chris out. It was adorable, to be honest.

"Nah mate, you're good," he said quietly, looking down into his food.

"So, Chris," I decided to try to initiate a conversation. "What other classes do you have? We should compare schedules."

He smiled at the suggestion. He seemed to smile at everything. Chris had what romance novels would probably describe as a "crooked" smile, but I had to admit it was pretty nice to look at. I could definitely see where Pj was coming from.

"Great idea! Here, let me just get it out," he offered, bending down to open his bag.

While he fished around, I nudged Pj, who had fallen back into staring at Chris. I rolled my eyes as he looked startled and blushed yet again. "Invite him to hang out later," I muttered so that Chris wouldn't hear. Pj's eyes widened in shock, but I just nudged him until he gave me a defeated look.

So when Chris popped up, I casually grabbed for the page in his hand. "Let me see, I'll tell you if we're together any time!" He handed it over and I looked at the sheet long enough to convince him I was actually doing so.

Pj coughed awkwardly, and Chris looked at him, expression bright as ever. "So, uh, Chris... Seeing as you're new around here, I thought, maybe, I could show you around the town? After school?"

Chris somehow smiled wider than he had since Phil first saw him. "Yeah, that'd be great! Thanks, Pj!"

Pj smiled back to Chris, but after a moment started looking a bit nervous. I could almost see him realise what he had gotten himself into and snap his head up to look at me. "So, Phil, you free after school?"

I tried to keep smiling just so not to alert Chris that anything was wrong. I was about to chime in that no, I was not in fact free today, I had to work on my project some more (I couldn't let Pj out that easy), when I saw someone approaching them from behind. But he was only looking at me, with those eyes that made my insides twist around.

I looked into Dan's eyes for a moment -just a moment- and they almost looked...apologetic. No, that must've been my eyes playing tricks on me. Just like Dan had, I forced myself to think.

He didn't fully approach, seeing as I had friends with me who currently hated his guts, but he stood relatively close to the table, staring me down. Dan's hands were awkwardly clasped behind his back -the same hands that just beat my head into a wall.

In a split second, I made my decision. I met that hopeful and nervous gaze with a narrowed eyes glare. "Sure, Pj," I said, loud enough that the sound would carry backwards. Even as I spoke, I never broke my stare behind Pj at whom I was really addressing. "I'm free after school today."

Vaguely I noticed when Pj sighed in relief, and Chris smile just kept increasing in size. But really my attention was still trained in a glare at the boy behind them. For a moment Dan looked shocked, that much was clear. Was that bastard really expecting me to forgive him for punching me in the face? I mean, to be fair, I had done it before, but that was different.

Then, just for a fraction of a second, so brief I barely even noticed it, a wave of something sad crashed into those warm brown eyes. It made me want to go over and slap it off of his face. Eyes that pretty, that bright, should never be allowed to look like that. It gave me irritating flashbacks to the other night when I left him at his house in tears.

But just as quickly as the emotion had come, Dan steeled his face, nodded to me kind of awkwardly, and walked away. I didn't even notice I was still looking at him until Chris spoke up.

"Hey, Phil, wasn't that the guy who just beat you up?"

"Yeah," I said indifferently, returning to eat my food.

In my peripheral vision I saw Pj glance back over his shoulder. He had almost surely noticed however messed up my eye looked at this point, but by now in our friendship we (especially I) got beat up enough to know not to suffocate the other person by excessively asking if they're okay. If one of us wasn't, we would tell the other. Right now I had a horrible headache, and was squinting a bit on my left, but I was fine.

"Who, Dan?" Pj asked kind of cautiously. I assumed his reaction was in response to our conversation earlier that day, which the thought of made me want to vomit. He had teased me about possibly having a crush on Dan. And I had considered it. Gag.

"Yeah," I repeated.

"I thought you said he was playing nice?"

I shrugged. "I guess he's not anymore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE comment and tell me what you think, I LOVELOVELOVE any and all feedback!!!  
> So yay, there's a new chapter of this! Huzzah!  
> I've been trying to keep up my consistency posting things, but it's the time when teachers make us start reviewing annoyingly for finals, and Alone ;) Together (still not over my amazing title there btw) took wwwaaaayyy longer than expected. But I'm pretty proud of it.  
> Next thing I'll post will most definitely be a chapter of HPTI. Probably.  
> Anyways, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed ^.^


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a bit shorter than a normal chapter, but it's too long to write another scene and I wanted to just put it up now. But that means you'll get the next update sooner, so it's a win win.

I stayed at Pj's desk chatting until the moment that the bell rang in maths. To be perfectly honest, I was a bit scared. Being cold towards Dan Howell may have not been the best thing I possibly could have done. I had never really had a reason to before, and I didn't really know how that would turn out.

But when the bell rang I sat down next to Dan, avoiding all eye contact, and he didn't speak. I didn't look at his face so I couldn't see his expression, but as the class went on we both stayed silent.

I tried to focus on maths, but I never could even without a giant distraction sitting right next to me. I didn't really know what to do with myself at this point. I couldn't doodle, and I sure as hell wasn't going to talk to Dan. Not after those warm eyes turned cold. I didn't care what they turned back into, that dick had led me to think we were friends and then quite literally punched me in the face.

Thinking about it, I felt my eye throb, and I shook my head, trying to get my thoughts to clear. Gingerly I brought my hand up to my face, trying to test how badly it hurt. I applied a bit of pressure to it and hissed out air between my teeth in pain. Fuck, that hurt. My immediate reaction was to shove my face into my arms on the desk, but that ended up putting the pressure of my giant head onto my wrist, and I could only hiss again as I shot back up.

The first thing I noticed was that Dan was staring at me. Sure, it was probably pretty hard not to stare at me awkwardly teeter-tottering through injuries on the desk we shared, but it still pissed me off. He had no right to look at me like that when he had caused at least half of the strife.

I shot him a glare and I saw him blush and look away. That had me raising an eyebrow. Dan Howell didn't /blush./ In the past, if I had glared at Dan Howell, he probably would have broken my entire arm -which is why I never met his gaze. What had changed? Did Dan feel...sorry?

No. Dan didn't feel sorry for me. If he felt sorry for me, maybe he wouldn't have punched me in the fucking face less than an hour ago. I forced myself to look away from how the blush looked on his face with the midday sun from the window shining directly at him. I was suddenly really glad I couldn't see his eyes. I still didn't understand the power that those eyes held, and I was mad at him.

Wow, I was so pathetic. Why was I suddenly feeling so betrayed? I had only been hanging out with Dan for less than a week, did that really constitute a friendship? Apparently. Maybe it was just those magical eyes that I couldn't help stare into every time I could. Or maybe it was the hours spent playing Mario Kart or listening to Muse. Maybe it was the soft face on his strong body. Maybe it was his soft fringe or those stupid paintings on his desk I had a feeling helped to ruin everything. Maybe it was how when we were alone we couldn't help but stare at each other, how we would both look shyly away. Maybe it was how Pj teased me about crushing on my bully-

Oh /fuck./

My eyes widened slightly as a realisation dawned on me. Earlier that day, I had been contemplating that very thought. I risked one more glance back at Dan, and couldn't help but blush as I saw the pink tinting his soft cheeks and brown fringe practically glowing gold in the sunlight. My heart rate quickened, and I was nervous. It simply wasn't possible.

Of course I had to go and get a crush on Dan Howell of all people.

Then my heart raced for a different reason. I was angry. I remembered how I looked at him, but I also remembered how he looked right back. Even if his feelings weren't to the same capacity as my ridiculous ones, he had treated me like a friend. A /friend./ And last time I checked, friends don't punch each other in the face. Of course Dan Howell wasn't going to like me, the stupidest dork in school who he always made fun of and called a fag, but he had been nice. I could tell in the way he looked when he could finally talk about anime to someone instead of football. When someone listened to Muse with him. I was something to him, and I had let the asshole become something to me.

And he ruined it. He threw it away like week old sushi. He went with all those friends that only talked about football, those friends who only listened to music by hot female pop singers they liked to look at the tits of.

My train of thought was rather rudely interrupted by the bell, and I jumped at the unexpected sound. I saw Dan dart out of the room, biting my lip to contain all of the too many emotions I was feeling towards that horrible, horrible boy.

I looked down to collect my notes and shove them in my bag, but I was surprised once again.

In the corner of my paper was a drawing of a bouquet of roses. It was a pretty crap drawing, if I was being honest, but I couldn't help but smile just a little bit.

I folded the page and tucked it in my pocket as I braced myself for art class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please COMMENT, FEEDBACK IS WHAT I LOVE MY BEANS!  
> It's four in the morning and I can't sleep so I wrote this  
> Yay  
> I know it's just a monologue, but it's a monologue I felt the need to be there. I know there's no dialogue. I know there's no plot. But there's emotional plot, and some phan-y goodness. So take what you can get you fluffers.  
> (But actually jk I love you don't hate me)  
> Anyways, I don't think I've mentioned this in a while, but this fic is almost at 3400 reads??? And like holy fluff that's amazing???  
> Basically as I've been writing so much more frequently lately and more on a whim, I have no idea when anything's going to be out or what's coming next.  
> YAY ITS A MyStErY  
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed this short little chapter, talk to you soon <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AT LAST  
> ITS 1.6K WORDS  
> IM SORRY ITS BEEN A MONTH BUT HERE

When I opened the classroom door, Dan was already sat at the back, fiddling with his pencils. I inhaled sharply, strongly considering turning around and going to the toilet to vomit up my feelings instead. But I bit my lip and braced myself, walking over.

"Hi, Phil," I heard Dan say, but I ignored him. I flinched a little at his voice. It sounded soft. Regretful. Kind of beautiful. I hoped he didn't notice my twitch.

I gave him a curt nod, never quite meeting his gaze. I wouldn't look into those eyes. I wouldn't. I almost knew I would give in if I looked into those stupid eyes if they were even half as sincere as his voice sounded.

The class started, and everyone carried on normally. Kids were gossiping, talking about their prom plans, drawing a line or two every few minutes. I could hear Dan's pencil moving on the page, so I could only assume he was working. After several minutes of staring at the clock and trying not to think, I couldn't resist looking over. Just to see. Just because I was bored. Just out of curiosity. Just because of the little flower drawing burning a hole in my pocket.

So I looked over. I just looked at his hands and the paper. I looked at his hands moving over the paper. His strokes were choppy, his pressure was inconsistent. It was not a good picture. It was okay, but it most definitely wasn't good. If I was being completely honest, it looked nothing like the photo reference. While I was screaming at myself to sit there quietly, the artist in me was screaming to fix it.

I sighed, and it drew Dan's attention, his face turning towards me, still furrowed in concentration. I still didn't quite meet his gaze, to be honest I found myself bowing my head to avoid it. I hated it. It was like before everything, before I started calling him a friend. Before he had anything to ruin with me.

"Don't press so hard. It's darker over here than here. Also try to have less shaky lines," I said quietly after a moment, turning my attention to his page. I hated myself for being so quiet.

"Okay," he said, seeming hesitant. Good. I shouldn't be the only one uncomfortable. He tried another line, and while he was looking at the page I let myself look at his face. His brow was furrowed again, and this time he bit his lip in concentration. He was beautiful.

/He's also an asshole/ I firmly reminded myself.

I didn't catch myself staring until he looked back up. I hastily looked down, feeling a blush envelop my cheeks.

He raised his eyebrow. "How was that?" he said, his voice still gentle.

I blinked, realising I was supposed to be looking at what he was drawing. I quickly glanced over at the addition to the drawing, sighing as it wasn't really any different. As an artist, I decided to put aside our differences for a minute, as this was killing me. A voice in my head was screaming at me to fix it; I was supposed to be helping him after all.

"Like this," I said, picking up the pencil he had put down. "Don't put so much pressure on it; it's harder to stay consistent that way."

I awkwardly gripped the pencil in my non dominant hand. I wanted to cry, because I couldn't draw, but I just bit my lip. I'd be fine lefty for one line, I was sure. So I sighed and just went for it.

I cringed at the result, the line very shaky. It wasn't a complete disaster, I didn't ruin Dan's drawing, but it was definitely not what I was used to producing. It also most definitely was not an improvement on Dan's, sort of defeating the purpose. I didn't have to look to know that Dan was looking at me with eyebrows raised, probably laughing at my sorry ass.

"I can't draw with my left hand, okay?" I said, embarrassingly close to actually crying. I cursed myself for being pathetic.

"Hey, at least your wrist'll heal," he said, oddly sympathetic, making me look up at him in surprise. I realised my mistake only after I met his eyes. His fucking eyes.

They were still all those magical shades of brown: everywhere from gold to caramel to nearly onyx spiralling together to make a picture prettier than anything that could ever be produced on paper. I couldn't stand to see them looking like they did though: they were sad. They were regretful and gentle and sad. It was the clearest emotion I had ever been able to read from his beautiful eyes, and they were just screaming, "I'm sorry." It made me want to cry all over again.

Could I forgive him? The thought practically assaulted me, and once it passed through my mind I couldn't shake it. The whole ignoring him plan clearly wasn't working, but the whole thing was so unstable. We had only been "friends" for a few days before I made him cry and then he punched me in the face. No matter how much I wanted to forgive him, I couldn't quite get past the small detail that he actually assaulted me. But he looked so reluctant. It was peer pressure. It was habit, basically. I forgave him once, why not again?

My train of thought was interrupted when our stare down broke as he looked away. I blinked as I was shoved back into reality, realising he had looked away because someone had approached.

There were two girls named Sofia and Beatrice standing next to our table. They were both pretty popular, and I nearly did a double take at having them so close. I instinctively looked down, and for some reason now I was realising how much I did that. These two girls weren't particularly mean, but for some reason they were intimidating. A lot of people were intimidating.

Huh.

"So, Dan, are you going to prom?" Sofia asked.

"Nah," Dan said, causing me to furrow my brow. I was tempted to even look up, but I didn't want to be that weird kid. Well, I was already that weird kid, but I didn't want to draw attention to it.

"Oh come on Dan, live a little! Prom is so much fun!" Beatrice whined.

"I've never gone, what makes you think this year would be different?" Dan replied.

"Uh, whatever," Sofia concluded.

"Yeah, your loss," Beatrice giggled.

There was a silence, and I assumed they walked away. I cautiously looked up to find Dan looking quickly away from me. Despite everything, a smirk found its way to my face.

"You don't go to prom?" I asked, annoyed at how small my voice came out. Everyone was still intimidating, but somehow Dan really wasn't as much anymore. So why was I still speaking quietly?

"Yeah, I just never saw the appeal," he shrugged, looking back at me. He still looked very guilty, and I cringed inwardly at my nervous appearance.

"I just would have thought Dan Howell, most popular kid in school, would go to prom," I said, shrugging and blushing. What was wrong with me?

Dan practically snorted. "I'm most definitely not the most popular kid."

"Well, close enough..."

"So, do you ever go?" he asked me, causing me to just stare at him incredulously. I didn't actually respond, just kept staring.

He fidgeted in his seat. "What?" he eventually asked, looking at me with a practically doe eyed expression.

"No, I don't go to prom. Why would I go to prom? Everyone hates me, and everyone who hates me is drinking. I'd probably get two black eyes and a couple broken ribs by the time I left," I said bluntly. It wasn't a lie.

He looked down at his lap. "Oh."

We sat there in tense silence for a few awkward moments before he spoke again, his voice only a squeak. "I'm sorry, Phil. I am really sorry about earlier."

He didn't look up, and I was taken aback. Sure, he looked like he regretted punching me, but I didn't expect him to actually apologise. I thought he was done with me and would go back to how things were after a few painfully awkward days. Fuck him, honestly.

"It's okay," I squeaked back, surprising even myself.

He looked back up at me, clearly shocked as well. "You mean you forgive me?" he asked, and I swore to god in that moment he was the most adorable creature alive.

I bit my lip. "Well...no, not really, to be honest. But I appreciate your apology," I eventually settled on.

Dan looked dejected, his eyes sad, and I wanted to smack him. He gulped. "That's fair," Dan started slowly, nodding and keeping his voice even. "Look, Phil, I know you don't want anything to do with me, but we do actually have to do that history project. Will you come over today still?" he finished, a pleading look in his eyes, making them look soft and warm and mushy and making me feel the same.

"Yeah, sure," I said, then shook my head to clear it. "Wait, no, I have plans today. Monday?"

"Sure, Phil," Dan said, letting his hair fall into his eyes.

At that moment the bell rang. Dan picked up his bag -almost looking reluctant to do so- and stood up. "See you, Phil."

"See you Dan," I said. Then he walked out of the classroom, and I couldn't decide whether to frown or smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pleasepleaseplease comment, it means so much to me! ^.^  
> Wow, okay, so sorry. It's been over a month since I updated this. I'm a mess.  
> And I'm sorry to say I only have more bad news: FINAL EXAMS ARE COMING UP. MY TEACHERS ARE KILLING ME SLOWLY WITH REVIEW. So I won't be posting much until late June, when those are all good and done with. I'm sorry, I'll try to get SOMETHING before then(whether it's this or HPTI or whatever, I'll try my vewy haddest).  
> And when summer comes I've got a few big new projects planned I'm super excited about, so stay tuned for two of my favourite universes I've created.  
> One thing to please do, since this site has no messaging service or other posting system, I made a piece that's just me talking and confirming that I'm not dead and ranting to you about why everything is late. It's called Excuses and it's on my page, check it out.  
> Some people seem worried I abandon things, I'm sorry don't worry I will finish this.  
> Also, I'm honestly not sure how good this is. I have more plans for where I want this fic to go, I just need to get there. So there might be some awkward buffer in the middle, I've decided to just grin and bear it. So here you go.  
> Okay so I'll stop rambling now.  
> Hope you enjoyed it <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE RETURNED FROM THE DEAD

"Hey, Phil, you okay there? You look kinda spacey," Pj said as I approached his locker. The final bell had just rung, and my friend's voice snapped me out of the haze I had been in for the last few classes.

"Yeah," Chris added. "I wasn't going to say anything because I don't know you that well, but you look stoned right now."

I rolled my eyes and found a smile creeping onto my face. I shook my head. "I'm fine, and very definitely not on drugs."

"I knew I should've went up to that green haired kid instead. He /definitely/ knew where to get the good shit," Chris added on, shaking his head ruefully.

"Well, now you're stuck with us," I said, clapping him in the shoulder and nodding along with him.

"Dammit," he muttered.

"Hey," Peej interjected. "We're not that bad."

Chris grinned up at him. "If you insist. Though to be fair I'm more worried about brickhead over here. You seem much more to my standards," he said slyly. Pj blushed and I couldn't help but giggle at it. Dammit they were adorable. I made a mental note to make them hang out without me more until Pj grew some balls and flirted back.

Pj was just standing there stuttering and brushing his fringe out of his face, so, being the generous person I was, I decided to help him out. "So, we all ready to go?"

"Yeah. Where should we go first?" Pj said, quickly slamming his locker closed.

"I was thinking we should get some pizza, then some ice cream, then show him the park," I suggested as we began to walk towards the exit.

"Sounds like a plan," Pj said.

"Wait, there's a park here?" Chris asked, seeming confused. "I asked if there were any and my parents said no."

"Well," I said slowly, trying to word this, "it's not a park, per se. It's just a spot we like to go to. You'll see," I eventually decided on. Pj nodded like he approved of my word choice.

"Why do I get the feeling I'm about to get dragged to a place no one can hear me scream and violently murdered?" Chris said, sounding much more serious than he probably should have. I just snorted.

"Please, don't flatter yourself. If we were going to do that why would we waste money on feeding you pizza first?" I scoffed.

"Wait, you're buying me pizza? I take back all of my doubts," Chris said, seeming almost giddy. I noticed Pj staring at him as he giggled.

"We just buy a large and rotate who pays, generally. It's my day today, but don't think you're getting off easy- if you hanging out with us becomes a regular thing then you're getting added into the system."

Chris' smile fell slightly. "This is why I said I like Pj more," he muttered.

So we walked down the street to our town's pizza shop. Since school had just gotten out and it was Friday, it was rather packed. We managed to squeeze into a table in the corner, and over the course of an hour I learned Chris was hilariously inappropriate and far too messy with his pizza. Though it definitely didn't slip past me how Pj laughed a little too hard at all his jokes, giving him what I sincerely hoped wasn't an honest attempt at subtle heart eyes the whole meal.

As we went to get ice cream I went out of the way to involve Pj in the conversations, no matter how quiet he was trying to be. I was so invested in the activity I didn't even notice the footsteps coming up behind us.

"Hey look, it's Lester!"

"Yeah, let's go pay our little friend a visit!"

I heard calls from behind me and flinched. My heart started racing as I heard footsteps getting closer, and when I looked over to my friends they seemed rather conflicted. Before I had time to say anything they were shoved away, four bodies all facing me.

I looked over the faces quickly. Joe, Tyler, Liam, and... John. Part of me was almost shocked to see the absence of a familiar head of brown hair. Should I have really been shocked though? Dan definitely seemed to regret getting involved earlier. I didn't fully forgive him, but did I really think so poorly of him I had expected to see him again? Force of habit, probably.

For the first time I actually registered how there wasn't really anyone else on the street besides the seven of us. It was a side street that was a shortcut behind buildings in town, and not many people ever frequented it. Shit. I gulped as the boys around me all smirked.

"How you feeling, Lester?" Joe taunted. I kept my head down and said nothing.

"What, cat got your tongue?" Tyler bitterly barked. I stayed silent, having no doubt that speaking would do anything short of make the situation worse.

"I think Dan may have hit him too hard earlier," Liam said, causing them all to laugh.

"Oh no," Joe joined in, faking sincerity. "Maybe he has brain damage! We can't have that, now, can we?" he finished with an evil grin.

Then he grabbed my wrist, and my entire arm went up in flames. Or it may as well have, with how much that hurt.

"Quick, tell me, how many finger are you holding up?" Joe said mockingly, bending some of my fingers back in their brace.

White flashed behind my eyelids, and my knees buckled when I felt him squeeze on the already injured joint.

"Hey, knock it off!" I barley heard, vaguely recognising Pj's voice.

"Yeah, seriously!" I heard Chris chime in a moment later.

I didn't open my eyes to see what happened, but all I knew is the pressure on my wrist didn't let up. In fact, I was fairly certain it increased. I heard some smacks on the pavement behind me, and then heard four voices of malicious laughter.

"Aw, that's cute, all the little fags trying to help each other!" someone yelled.

"Yeah, just hilarious," Joe chuckled out. "In fact, as a testimony to all their disgusting love, why don't I put the little fucker on his knees, where he belongs?"

All of the sudden my wrist was jerked again, and I felt myself being launched forwards. My knees violently hit the pavement, jarring all the bones in my legs and scraping the skin. My hands instinctively went out to catch myself as I fell, but that only tightened Joe's grip on my right one. Spots danced across my vision as I awkwardly dangled between keeling over and being bent out of shape upwards into my attacker.

"Hey!" I heard a voice call. I didn't recognise it as one of the others, but it did seem familiar. I was too spaced out to decipher it though.

"Dan! Hey mate, come join the party. It's a hell of a time over here!"

If it was possible, I flinched more. Everything was humiliating and painful before, but now I was convinced the universe was torturing me.

"Guys, stop it!" I heard, and for the first time in a while, my eyes shot open. Dan looked angry as he approached the group, nearly jogging with fists clenched at his sides. "What's your problem?"

He yelled the last sentence and approached Joe, attempting to shove him away from me. Unfortunately Joe's grip was tight and remained clamped on my arm. This only caused me to be yanked farther, crying out in pain.

"Hey, what's the big idea Dan?" Joe said, looking outraged. Somehow he managed to grip my arm even tighter and I couldn't tell if I was whimpering or yelling anymore. My ears were starting to ring.

"Let go! His wrist is already fucking broken. You could send him to hospital!" Dan yelled.

"You didn't seem to concerned about any of that earlier," Joe said, narrowing his eyes. Dan held his ground, walking towards Joe.

"I said let go," he practically growled.

"Oh yeah? Make me," Joe challenges, smirking.

Then, suddenly, the pressure on my wrist let up and I crumpled painfully the rest of the way to the ground. I groaned at the jarring impact.

I felt more hands on me, grabbing my shoulders, and I flinched away. I noticed that there were tears on my face. When did those get there?

"Phil," I heard Pj's voice whisper harshly above me. I opened my eyes to see the hands on me were only his and Chris', trying to sit me up. Reluctantly I obliged, letting them guide me to my feet. The blood in my head pounded, and I felt myself start to fall over again. They caught me, and carefully started leading me down the street.

Not fully registering what had just happened, I looked back to see Joe grabbing at his face and muttering expletives, Dan standing there looking pissed. Liam, Tyler, and John just stood there for a second, before Tyler stepped up to him, closely followed by the others. After a moment the shoved him up against a wall.

"What was that about Howell?" Liam cried. Dan just stood there looking even angrier, seemingly not intimidated.

"Yeah, we're your friends. Why'd you attack us?" Tyler exclaimed.

"Because you're all sick fucks if you just go around hospitalising people for fun!" he snapped.

"This morning you had no problem with it!" Tyler said, an evil smirk on his face. At some point Chris and Pj had stopped moving us away, seemingly we were all enthralled in the scene before us.

"That was different," Dan said, his voice lacking conviction.

"What, you don't feel bad for the little fag, do you?" John said in nearly a sing song voice. It made me want to hurl, how happy he sounded to be causing pain. Or maybe that was just the lingering pain from keeping myself standing.

"Just leave me alone, guys. Don't you have anything better to do than attack your friend?" Dan said, almost challenging.

"Friend? Little late for that Howell! What, wouldn't you much rather go hang out with your little dorky friends?" John taunted.

Dan narrowed his eyes. "Better than you sick fuckers," he said sharply. Then he shoved John, who seemed too shocked for a moment to react. Tyler and Liam both moved towards him, but he managed to slip out past the hole in their wall where John was a moment ago, quickly moving away. Tyler, Liam, and John quickly moved to follow him, and Dan started jogging down the street. As he approached us I was snapped back into reality a bit, starting to turn back around.

He got to the place we were and stopped for less than a moment to quickly say, "Now might be a good time to run guys." That seemed to get Chris and Pj moving, both still gripping my sides as they dragged me forward slightly faster than before. The jostling around hurt, but I figured it was definitely better than the probably far more painful alternative.

So we carried on like that for a while, turning a bunch of random directions. Eventually we couldn't see or hear the others anymore, so we slowed down.

"Hey, Phil," Pj said once they were mostly still. "I think now would be a good time to show Chris the park."

"Yeah," I said, rather out of breath. "Sounds like a plan."

We started to walk in a new direction, Chris and Pj letting me have a little more space. My knees still hurt a lot, causing me to limp slightly, but now that our pace was slower I managed with only Pj's hand lightly on my back.

After a few seconds of walking I realised there were only three of us doing so, and I turned back to notice Dan awkwardly standing there with his hands in his pockets. He wasn't looking at us, but he looked unsure, as if he was about to start walking in another direction. I didn't want him to do that.

"Dan?" I called back, making my two counterparts pause briefly as well.

Dan looked up at me. "Yeah?" He squeaked back, his voice smaller than I'd ever heard it.

"You coming?" I asked, deciding to be bold.

I saw his face erupt in blush as he met my gaze. His eyes were beautiful again, warm and scared and making me want to go hug him or draw him with the pink on his cheeks.

"I, uh-sure," he said, nodding awkwardly. I smiled at him, and it seemed to make him happy. I was glad.

So we continued walking, Chris and Pj still close to me and Dan trailing a few paces behind us, nobody saying a word. Then at a random street we ducked into the tree line next to the road and walked until we reached a small clearing. There were only a few rocks and a stream there, but the sight of the place calmed me. I hadn't been here in a while, but Pj and I used to hang out here all the time to avoid, well, what just happened. I didn't know why we ever stopped.

Carefully I lowered myself down onto a rock, and breathed a sigh of relief at not having to stand on bruised and scraped and sore legs.

"You alright mate?" Pj asked after a few moments of silence. I nodded slowly in response.

"I'll live," I said, closing my eyes and shaking my head, trying to clear it.

"So," Chris joined in. "What is this place?"

"Nothing much, to be perfectly honest," I said. "Just a place we used to hang out a lot. It's nice though, kinda calming."

"Yeah, nothing like loud birds and mud to calm you down," Chris said in mock distaste, and we all laughed.

"So, Dan," Pj surprised me by saying. "What was that about?" His voice sounded cautious, and I couldn't blame him. He had never had any good experiences with Dan at all.

Dan seemed very uncomfortable in the new setting, blushing and looking at the ground. He cleared his throat. "It was just...the right thing to do, you know?" he said awkwardly, clearly not knowing what to say.

"Well thank you, Dan," I said before anyone else could say anything. That needed to be expressed first and foremost.

"What happened to him not being nice?" Chris asked, seeming kind of confused. It was still just his first day here, all of this back and forth must have been hard to take in. I nearly laughed at how wild it was; it was almost comic.

"I guess he changed his mind again," I said, and small smile creeping into my features, and he finally looked up, meeting my gaze. He bit his lip.

"Does this mean you forgive me now?" Dan asked, looking so intensely at me I started to feel embarrassed that my friends were here. I looked back into his eyes, his perfect eyes. They looked so hopeful and beautiful, perfectly contrasting with his pink dusted face, looking even better now that he seemed confident. God I loved his eyes.

"Yeah," I said while nodding, smiling at how his face lit up. "Yeah it does."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me what you think, it means the world!  
> Oh wow I haven't been here in a while I've so much to talk about. Where should I start? Oh, I know!  
> THIS FIC HIT 5K VIEWS AND I AM FLIPPING OUT  
> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH  
> YAY  
> WAFFLE PARTY *raves*  
> Okay, now that that's out of the way: my exams are almost over! So after Tuesday I should be writing a lot more! I have several things I've started as well that I hopefully will write over the summer. So look forward to stuff. I'll almost definitely be better about updating over the summer, because I'm taking weekly dance classes so I probably won't lose track of time and let stuff blur, you know?  
> Hopefully  
> But here's a chapter of this! Yay! It's a really long one too! Voot voot  
> I have some more plot points planned for this now, so the chapters will probably flow together better. That's good.  
> Oh and HPTI is almost at 500 reads, so I'm really happy about that as well! I'm in a good mood ^.^  
> Idk I'm rambling and I don't know what else to say. Hope you're all having good lives, I'm not dead(technically), enjoy the story, and comment me feedback! Yay!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a beta for this chapter so thanks to Charlie. You rock m8.  
> Also, I know I said I'd get better at updating, I'm sorry. I had some serious writer's block for this one. Anyways, enough blabbering. ENJOY THE THING.

I took a deep breath when I saw him standing there on the corner, right where he always was. Somehow after the whirlwind of activity on Friday, this Monday had managed to pass totally uneventfully. The weekend itself ended up being more of a pause button than a break, and everything seemed exactly the same as when I went to sleep on Friday. All weekend I had woken up with a horrible headache, and I had been more or less limping around all day and clutching at my arm in crowds, but I'd avoided confrontation and nothing had gotten any worse. Also Dan and I hadn't really spoken much since Friday when he insisted on walking me home from the park. Even then he didn't say much, just silently supported my shaky legs and left. 

But here we were again, meeting to go back over to his house. He had said this time that we would be focusing on the actual project, but part of me hoped we could ignore it some more and hang out again.

So I walked up to where I saw him on the street corner. When I got up behind him, I just sort of coughed.  
Dan quickly spun around, and gave me a nervous smile. His eyes were lit up and warm again, and I wanted to just ignore everything, but he looked unsure. It was uneasy, having Dan Howell be nervous to talk to /me./ I was supposed to be nervous talking to him, not the other way around. My mind still hadn't quite adjusted to the idea of us being...whatever we were. Whether that be acquaintances or friends or whatever.

"Hey, Phil," he said.

"Hi, Dan," I said.

"So, uh, you feeling any better than on Friday?" he asked, scratching at the back of his neck.

"Yeah, now I've only got a bit of a headache. My legs are kinda stiff too, but I'll deal," I said, half laughing at the end. In the end I utterly failed at making it a light hearted statement.

"Yeah... I'm really sorry about that," Dan said, looking me in the eyes again.

I rolled my eyes. "We've been over this. It's okay," I said, trying to sound stern. He looked at me skeptically, so I shrugged. "I'm used to it. Come on, let's go."

Dan blinked at me for a moment, then slowly nodded. "Yeah, okay," he said, turning around to walk towards his house. I silently followed.

We stayed quiet for the rest of the way to his house, but it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be. Dan seemed rather lost in thought, so I decided to just let him be. And I totally wasn't taking the opportunity to stare at him and his beautiful face and his magical eyes. Totally not. That would be weird.

When we arrived, I was expecting for us to go to the kitchen and get a snack like we always did, so I was surprised when Dan stopped at the door and took a deep breath instead. I raised my eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything. He looked like he was struggling to say whatever he was, so I just let him have his time.

"Hey," he said quietly after a while. "Mind if we go to my room first? I've got something I want to tell you?"

"Of course not, let's go," I said immediately. Dan looked up at me and my breath hitched under his gaze. His eyes were sad and scared and resolute and thoughtful. The look made me frown at him. At this point I was morbidly curious as to what he was going to say. So I followed him up the stairs to his bedroom without another word, quickly making myself comfortable on his bed. Dan sat down next to me, looking nervously anywhere but my eyes. I reached over and squeezed him reassuringly on the shoulder, to which he finally looked at me and smiled before taking one last deep breath.

"So, Phil," he started, his voice much more even than I had expected, "first I'd just like to say sorry."

"Dan, how many times do I have to say? It's not a big-"

"No, let me finish."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry for Friday, yes, but I'm also sorry in general. In the past I've done so much shit to you. You say you're okay now because you're 'used to it,' but that is so fucked up. You're so sweet and nice and mind your own business, you shouldn't be used to that. But I know it's mostly my fault, so...I'm sorry," Dan rushed out in one breath, leaving me dumbfounded.

"Oh," I said, blinking at him.

"Look, I don't expect you to-"

"I forgive you."

"What?" He looked taken aback, furrowing his brow, and I smiled at him.

"I forgive you, Dan. You've changed. You regret it, and you even got me out of a situation on Friday. You've redeemed yourself, and I just want to move past all that," I said, smiling as I realised I really meant it. I used to be scared of Dan, he used to sort of ruin my life, but he was a better person now. He was genuinely nice to me, so I saw no reason to get caught up on the past.

Dan continued to just stare at me for a moment, then shook his head in disbelief. "Wow. Thank you, Phil. I really don't deserve that, but thank you. I promise it won't ever happen again," he said, looking up at me and biting his lip. I drew in a sharp breath, but luckily he didn't seem to notice. "But I still think you deserve an explanation."

I furrowed my eyebrows together, but didn't reply, simply waiting for him to say more. "So, the paintings...the ones on my desk," he started, causing my gaze to naturally flicker towards the aforementioned paintings. They really were beautiful. "Before I moved here in seventh grade, I was a very different person to who I am now. As a kid, I was really into art. I know, I know, it's hard to believe. I suck at art, and I ignore it. I'm a jock," he shuddered at the word. "But it wasn't always like that. As a kid I was better. I was good, really good, actually. A few people even said I was a prodigy. Now I wouldn't go quite that far, but I worked so hard. Painting, drawing, everything like that was my whole life. On that desk...I made the paintings over there," he said, practically holding his breath.

"Then something happened. In sixth grade -right before I moved here- I..." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I was in an accident. Some idiot hit our car. We were all fine, everyone in the car lived, but I was the worst off. I suffered from a head injury. There was some big fancy word the doctors used, but I never bothered to remember it. All I do know is that it screwed with my head. I got this thing where my hands shake and my fine motor skills got worse. Also, for a while my head was so messed up I couldn't even be creative properly. That bit faded, thank god, but my hands never really worked right. I sort of got frustrated and gave up, and I haven't really tried art since. 

"I do sports because you don't need your fingers so much. I guess for a while it made me feel like I could actually do something -like I was still in control. I moved schools after a while because I couldn't take it anymore, being in that place. Everyone looked at me with so much pity, they didn't think I could do anything anymore. So I left. I guess when I came here I was just so full of fury at the world, I didn't want anyone to push me around. So I pushed others around." Dan wiped at his face. I could tell he was tearing up a little. It broke my heart to hear that story, it broke my heart to see him like this. He didn't deserve that. Nobody did. I reached my hand back over to his shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly again. Dan looked over to me and sniffled, but smiled at me none the less. "And 'others' ended up being you. I never had any right to be mean to you, and I'm just so sorry, Phil. Anyways, I just thought you had a right to know..." He trailed off awkwardly, looking away from me.

Dan seemed nervous and sad and I just wanted to hug him. So I did. I leaned over and wrapped my arms around his torso, and immediately he reciprocated and buried his face into my shoulder. My nerve endings all lit up, and I stroked his hair a little, shushing this beautiful, damaged boy on my shoulder. After a little while of just staying like that, he calmed down a bit, so I took that as my cue to speak again.

"So...is that why you really took art class this year?" I said quietly. I heard him sigh against my shoulder, and gave him a squeeze.

"No, they really did tell me I needed an art credit. Before that I was avoiding it like the plague. When they made me sign up for the class I was panicking for days. It wasn't until that one day like a week ago that I even thought about it properly, I had been blocking it out. It was in maths class, the class before my first art class was scheduled, when I actually thought about it. I fell asleep because I didn't want to deal with it, but I woke up and you gave me those notes you had already started doodling on. I...I don't know why, but I just couldn't resist. I added to the doodles, and it honestly calmed me down. I had forgotten how it felt," he said almost wistfully. "But those were just stupid doodles. When I got to actual class I remembered how useless I was. I guess that's why I don't really like sports as much anymore. I don't feel in control anymore."

"I know, about the doodling. I found it in the recycling bin after class. I don't know why, I just found it odd. You just didn't seem the type. It was cute," I said, pushing him back a bit and giggling with my tongue poking through my teeth. He groaned and rolled his eyes at me.

"You did not just call them cute, Lester," he whined, burying his face again in my shoulder again. I kept giggling, but made it softer. If he wanted to lay there I most definitely had no complaints. After a peaceful moment or two, my stomach decided it would be the perfect time to make an ugly gurgling noise.

Dan giggled this time. I wanted to groan, but he just looked so...cute. He sat up and looked at me, and his eyes didn't look as sad anymore. They almost looked happy. They were beautiful and warm again, and I wanted to dive in and lose myself in them forever.

"Is someone a bit hungry there?" Dan asked, raising his eyebrow in mock question. I rolled my eyes.

"With your dramatic sob story I've just been here going hungry. I'm positively starved, and demand to be fed," I said sarcastically.

Dan looked at me tentatively, causing me to instantly drop my joking persona. He awkwardly adjusted his fringe. "Yeah, sorry for rambling..." he said in a small voice, which I immediately shut down.

"No, don't be sorry. Really, thank you for sharing that with me. I could tell that was hard for you and I'm really honoured that you trust me that much," I said, looking him in the eyes and making sure he knew I was one hundred percent sincere.

"Of course. You're my best friend, honestly..." he said, causing a stupid grin to envelop my entire face.

I was about to reply when my stomach made more unfortunate noises, making us both giggle.

"Come on, let's get you some food before you starve to death," he said.

I nodded, and we both got up and walked down to the kitchen. I had a feeling we wouldn't be working much on our project today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENTS ARE THE BEST THING THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY I LOVE FEEDBACK PLEASE DO THAT.  
> Okay so I'm sorry this took so long, but, you know...writer's block sucks okay. I was trying really hard, I just couldn't come up with stuff. Soooo I decided now was as good a time as any to share the dramatic backstory behind Dan and the paintings. Yay. I mean at least it's long and dramatic, if late.  
> Also, just last chapter I announced 5k reads, and just since then it's now almost 5500??? Guys how what when THANK YOU.  
> Okay the most amazing thing that has literally ever happened happened last night. I was talking to my random internet friend (on a website where I have my real name instead of Davine) and he tried to help me with writer's block and he asked what I was writing and I said a phanfic and he was like oooo can I read it and I'm like sure shameless spon I'm DavineNaughter and he no joke went YOURE DAVINENAUGHTER???? and he said he read my stuff on Tumblr and I'm great and he loved it and he was fangirling and I was too LIKE OMG THAT WAS THE BEST MOMENT EVER I WAS SOSO HAPPY. Then he also offered to beta, so that's a thing that happened. Whoop whoop.  
> Also, yesterday I finished editing the entirety of HPTI, and I hopefully will do that to this soon. Cuz I read through it again and noticed a bunch of inconsistencies and spelling/grammar mistakes so hopefully I'll fix those soon enough. I've also started more actively working on the next story I'm writing, which I'm very excited about. Don't expect that too soon though, first in gunna finish this and HPTI and that one an then I'll post it when it's done so it can be on a proper schedule.  
> Okay I'm rambling now, so imma just say I hope you enjoyed this chapter and let's hope I suck less at updating!


	13. Chapter 13

The next day I couldn't help but wake up and smile when I remembered the day before. Sure, what Dan had said definitely wasn't happy, but everything else was. I was happy about the fact that he trusted me, and that he apologised sincerely for all those years. Somehow it just made it all feel better. I was happy that he called me his best friend; it made me feel all tingly in a way I decided not to question. I was happy how we hadn't ended up working on the project yesterday, I was happy that instead we laid in his room -this time both on his bed- for hours not doing much except giggling and whispering nonsense. 

At this point I was about 100% certain that I had a crush on Dan Howell.

So I went to school with a smile on my face, only faltering when I realised I wasn't quite sure how this would work. Yesterday we had spent the school day on uncertain terms and pretty much ignored each other. Even the past week when we had been friendly, Dan was still friends with Joe and his posse. Now they weren't all jumping at the chance of being friends, but did that really mean Dan would want to be associated with me at school? That would be social suicide -he himself had made sure of that in previous years- so how did he stand on that? I decided I would let him do as he pleased. If Dan didn't want to be seen with me at school, I understood. If he wanted otherwise, he would have to initiate the contact.

So I just went up to my locker as usual, taking out some books before heading off to first period. I walked into the classroom and saw that Pj hadn't arrived yet, heading towards my desk to put my stuff down. I hadn't seen Pj since Friday, seeing as we didn't have any classes but lunch and maths on Mondays, and during those two classes he had a doctor's appointment. We had left on a rather awkward note, so I was happy when he walked in the room.

I approached my friend, and he smiled at me as I walked over. I returned the smile. "Hey Peej," I greeted.

"Hi Phil. Haven't seen you since Friday. Feeling any better?" he asked. I rolled my eyes at the concerned look on his face.

"Yes, Pj, I'm feeling much better," I said patronisingly.

"Hey, don't blame me for being worried. You got pretty badly beaten up back there," he said defensively.

I sighed and pointedly ignored that statement. "Yes, mum," I said, punctuating it with an eye roll.

"Fine, fine," Peej said, looking relieved. "You want to hang out later then? Something exciting happened since we last spoke that I really want to tell you." His eyes gleamed, and a huge smile enveloped my friend's face. I raised my eyebrow, but couldn't help but smiling myself. Pj's joy had always been contagious.

I shook my head. "As much as I'd love to, and am now insanely curious, Dan and I still need to work on that project. It's due next week and we've hardly done anything," I said, still smiling.

Peej's smile, on the other hand, faltered a big. "Oh, okay. Phil, how are things with him, by the way?" he asked slowly, almost as if he was being cautious. He seemed to relax when Phil just kept smiling.

"They're better, Peej. They're good, I'd even say. I never thought I'd say this, but Dan and I are actually friends now," I said, blushing a little. I wasn't quite sure why I did, but I didn't question it. Pj seemed pleased with my response either way, taking up smiling again himself. I was glad.

"That's good. Weird, but good," he said, giggling a little. "I'm glad you're doing okay. That's all I'd ever want."

I rolled my eyes again playfully, but my whole face was lit up nonetheless. "Okay, you're officially my new mum," I giggled out. "So, what's the thing you have to tell me?"

He blushed a little and I raised my eyebrow, very curious. Pj opened his mouth to talk, but before he could get a word out the teacher spoke. "Alright everybody, take your seats. Class is beginning," she said, annoying me with her timing,

"Tell me at lunch," I said quietly to Peej before walking back to my seat. I was met with a small nod and I sighed. The curiosity would no doubt kill me all day.

* * * * *

So I went through my day rather happily; for the first time in a little while I was just generally pleased with how things were going. Nothing particularly eventful happened first period, nor second, and whilst I still had gym class, at least today the sun was out. I also definitely didn't plan on stopping in the alley today, as that would no doubt end in more bad things. For the first time in a while I had a friend in gym class too, so that sounded slightly less painful.

I was in the locker room, already changed from the waist down and currently naked from the waist up, when I felt a hand clap hard against my shoulder. Instinctually, I flicked away and curled up a bit, letting out an insanely embarrassing whimper. I heard a hearty seal-like laugh behind me and turned around to find Chris grinning as always. When I did turn around he started to look more serious. It was unsettling.

"Hey, sorry mate. Didn't mean to frighten you," he said, and I sighed.

"It's fine, Chris," I said, laughing myself to emphasise my point. The grin immediately returned to his face, and I couldn't help but feel good that I caused it. Chris' happiness was just so contagious.

"Right. But I think it's time to put on a shirt now Phil. You're sending me quite the wrong message, dude," he said. I laughed out loud this time.

"Hey, it's not my fault if you're attracted to my extremely manly tan chest," I retorted, puffing it out to demonstrate. Chris snorted.

"Don't flatter yourself. I mean I will admit you're definitely ripped, but you're paler than your shirt," he said, tutting his tongue softly. With that I actually put on the aforementioned shirt, which was just a plain white one that had just been through the wash. I rolled my eyes.

"Clearly sickly pale is all the rage these days," I said.

"Keep telling yourself that mate. It's good for the self esteem," Chris concluded. With that, he clapped me on my now clothed shoulder before getting changed himself, during which he accused me of staring several times (which I wasn't). We both jogged out to the field together, groaning at the thought of having to partake in exercise.

But we went out anyways, reluctantly starting to jog around pointlessly in circles. We didn't talk much, seeing as neither of us were terribly fit (especially me) and instead we found ourselves mildly wheezing at the cardio. Nevertheless, it was unusually pleasant to have another presence next to me.

Today in the alley there were only two kids playing video games, and we passed then several times before that changed. I couldn't help but slow down as I approached the alley again to see the addition of Dan standing with a group consisting of Beatrice, Sofia, Joe, Liam, and Tyler. I slowly walked towards the alley until I was within earshot of the conversation, taking extra care to hide behind the wall where none of them would see me. That definitely wouldn't end well. Chris silently followed me, and I thanked God that he didn't try to talk.

"You don't want to go to prom with /him/," Tyler said.

"Why not?" I heard a voice ask. I wasn't sure whether it was Sofia or Beatrice -they had similar voices.

"Because he's a total loser!" Liam exclaimed.

"Liam!" the girl -I now recognised it was Sofia- cried. "Don't say that about your friend!"

"He's no friend of mine!" Tyler butted back in.

"Yeah, he's just an ass. Not worth any of our time," Joe said calmly.

"What're you talking about?" Beatrice asked. "Don't be rude to Dan."

"What we're talking about is how he punched Joe in the face!" Liam said.

"Yeah, on Friday! Then he ran off with that little faggot, Lester," Tyler added.

"Dan? Is that true?" Sofia asked harshly.

"Only because the idiot wouldn't let go of his already broken arm. He would've had to go to hospital if I hadn't shoved him off," Dan said, his voice strangely small. It was harsh, and reprimanding, but somehow kind of quiet.

"What?" Beatrice cried incredulously.

"Joe, is that true?" Sofia cried in a similar tone.

"Oh come on, don't tell me you're siding with that little bitch and his new bodyguard over us," Joe scoffed.

"We're not siding with anyone," Sofia said.

"Yeah, you're all pigs, honestly. Dan's slightly less of a pig, but seriously, what's with all this violence?" Beatrice sighed.

"Hey, why's Dan less of a pig?" Liam asked, seemingly offended.

"Because he was defending the one person who seems innocent here," Sofia said simply.

"Come on, let's just get back to running before the teachers find us," I heard Dan say. They all made some level of a noise of agreement, and I quickly slipped back into the crowd of runners.

* * * * *

Chris had to stop and talk to the counsellors about a schedule error, so I walked to lunch alone. Pj was already at the table, so I waved at him and sat down.

"Where's Chris? I thought he was in your PE." Peej asked. I rolled my eyes at his casual lack of greeting.

"Hello to you to," I said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, hello my dear best friend. I haven't seen you in a whole several hours: how tragic. I am so grateful for your presence once more," he said, and I couldn't help but giggle at just how sarcastic Pj managed to be sometimes.

"That's more like it."

"Whatever. So where is Chris?"

"He's at the counsellors. Some schedule thing. And I should've known I wouldn't care as much as soon as someone hotter came along," I joked, pointing out his obvious displays of attraction towards Chris on Friday.

He blushed, and I giggled and rolled my eyes again. "Actually, about that..." Pj started, making me raise my eyebrow. "That's that news I wanted to tell you earlier."

"What, you're writing me off, are you?" I asked, to which he quickly shook his head.

"Obviously not, you dork," he said endearingly. "Just..." Peej bit his lip.

"Come on, just spit it out mate."

"He kissed me!" he said, looking up at me and grinning. "He's totally gay and he totally kissed me and asked me on a date."

I smiled and started bouncing up and down a little, totally not fangirling at all. "Really? Oh my gosh! Congrats man," I said, clapping his shoulder.

"What're we talking about?" Chris asked, approaching the table and sitting down. "Why's everyone smiling?" Despite his question, he was smiling too.

"Just how adorable you two are," I said cheekily, knowing it would make Pj blush. It did.

"Ah, so you told him about you professing your undying love to me, I see," Chris said, smirking.

At this point Peej was as red as a tomato, so I decided to be nice. "That's not how I heard the story went," I said, smirking myself.

"Well clearly Pj is a dirty liar," he said.

Suddenly there was a throat clearing behind us, and we all turned to look. I unconsciously inhaled sharply when I saw Dan standing there, biting his lip. We all just stared at each other, but Dan was looking at the floor. None of us said anything, waiting for Dan to speak first. After nearly a minute of awkward silence, he did, in the smallest voice I had ever heard him use.

"Could I maybe sit with you guys...?" he said. Chris and Pj both immediately looked at me. I didn't even hesitate.

"Oh course, Dan," I said firmly. Both of the others at the table said nothing, and I was grateful for them respect it my decision. Dan smiled shyly at me, and I couldn't help but smile back.

There was another lapse of silence whilst we all just ate our lunch. After a little while, Peej surprised me by speaking up.

"So, you've been stealing Phil away for the past few weeks for this project, but he hasn't actually told us anything about it. What's your project on?"

Dan looked up at him and paused for a moment. "It's on Greek mythology," he said, still quiet.

"Oh yeah?" Chris chimed in, his face covered in a smirk. "Well which God am I most like? I'd say I'm definitely Zeus."

"Oh shove off Chris," Pj said.

"I'd say your Hermes," I concluded after staring at Chris a moment. "Dan?"

"Yeah, I can definitely see that," he said, seeming less shy as we all started to joke around. This made me smile.

"Hermes? Come on, he's like the lamest! Can't I at least be like Apollo?" Chris whined.

"You definitely couldn't pull off Apollo," Pj said matter-of-factly.

"Besides," Dan said. "Hermes is actually pretty cool."

"So what I'm hearing is," Chris said, a smirk back on his face. "I'm cool."

We all rolled our eyes. Even so, I still found there was a smile on my face. Today was a better day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell em what you think, feedback makes me the happiest person ever.  
> So hey, I updated! I'm getting slightly kinda better not really. But hey, it's only been eight days. Sorry...  
> And I know I updated this twice in a row instead of HPTI, I'm probably going to prioritise this one for a little while. This one is more popular and easier to write and it's easier to just focus on one thing at a time. I'll still finish HPTI, don't worry, just at a slower pace than this.  
> Can I just say: if you generically search "phandom" into the search bar here and sort by hits this fic is about halfway down the TWELTH page!!! That's honestly way too exciting to me. What's even more exciting is that with the rate of how this fic is growing it will probably get onto the eleventh in the next few days after I post this! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU ALL AND YOU COMMENT NICE THINGS AND READ AND LIKE MY WORK AND JUST THANK YOU I LOVE YOU YAY.  
> Okay I don't have actually any updates or things to say. Please bear with me if I take long, my grandma's kinda sick. Not asking for sympathy, it's not super serious and she won't die or anything, I'm just probably going to be visiting her pretty often in the next few weeks.  
> Please comment and stuff ^.^  
> Thank you ^.^


	14. Chapter 14

Surprisingly, today, Dan and I actually managed to work on the project. We decided to stop by the library before walking to his house, and the books we checked out actually looked rather interesting.

We grabbed some sweets and headed to his room, spreading out our materials on his bed. After a little while, we fell into a pattern. Dan would read out some requirement of be assignment or a passage from a book, then I would speak what he then transcribed for our essay. I still wasn't allowed to write things, and he didn't like writing essays, so it worked quite well. We went on like that for a few hours, until we had about half an essay written.

"Okay," Dan said eventually, "if I have to read any more of these stupid books my eyes are going to melt out of my skull."

I giggled. "Wow, graphic much?"

"Yes. It's graphic because that's how I feel on the inside."

"To be fair I feel kinda the same. I'm so done with this essay. We have to do a poster to go with it, right? What goes on that?" I sighed out. I doubted I would get in a productive mood again soon.

"Uuuh, let's see," Dan said, shuffling through their pile of papers. "Apparently we need to write six fun facts and draw a picture for each of them on a poster board."

"Okay, do you wanna keep working on that then? I feel productive," I said, shoving myself into a sitting position.

"Yeah, sure. What facts should we use?" Dan asked picking up the book closest to him. I followed suit and picked up another book. We both sat flipping through pages, trying to pick out the things that caught our attention. We stayed like this for a little while, laughing at some of the crazy myths and facts we found about the Greek gods.

We rather quickly decided on the layout of the poster, and Dan immediately got to work writing the facts out, trying his absolute hardest to write legibly. It turned out okay, especially when we found a few colourful markers.

"Annnnnd, done!" Dan exclaimed when he finished writing out the sixth fact, looking rather pleased over the poster. I giggled at his excitement, admiring how good the emotion looked across his face. It made me want to keep him smiling forever,

"Good job Dan. You proud of yourself?" I asked, rolling my eyes. He looked over at me, and I nearly melted at the look in his eyes. No matter how many times I looked into those eyes, it would never affect me less. I felt chills shoot down my arms at his smile, quickly chastising myself. That was bordering creepy. He was just so cute and smiley, I couldn't help it.

"Very," he hummed, smile not faltering.

"Well don't be too proud yet, we still have half an essay to write and half a poster to draw," I said, flopping down onto his bed. He didn't respond after a few seconds, so I looked back up, hastily sitting back up when I saw the distraught look that had overtaken his features. "What's wrong?"

Dan didn't look over to me, and his voice came out so small I wanted to hug him. "I just realised that you can't draw. Our poster's going to look like complete shit if I try to draw it," Dan said, sounding rather dejected.

"Dan, this isn't for art class or anything. Our history teacher wouldn't care if we showed up with some stick figures with lightning bolts on them," I said, trying to sound lighthearted. I knew it was a sensitive subject for him.

Dan was silent for a little while before he sighed. "Yeah, I suppose you're right..." he mumbled, flipping the hair from his eyes. He seemed to curl in on himself, and I immediately leaned over and hugged him. Dan say still for a moment, but quickly put his arms around me as well and rested his head on my shoulder. He proceeded to bury his face in my shirt, and I giggled. Dan was so warm.

"Hey, it's getting kind of late. We'll worry about that tomorrow. Let's call it a night?" I said quietly into his ear. He merely hummed in response, and I could feel him take a deep breath. I smiled as he relaxed. We sat there like that for who knows how long, but I certainly wasn't complaining. Dan was warm and soft and comfortable. I saw it start to get darker outside, but I wasn't too bothered. Neither of us spoke for the longest time, but when a question popped into my head I couldn't stop myself from speaking.

"Hey, Dan?" I said quietly, checking he hadn't fallen asleep. He didn't say anything, but he hummed again. "I was just wondering...why me? When you got here, and decided to take out your frustration on someone, why was I that someone?" I whispered.

Dan took a deep breath. "Phil, look, I'm sorry, you didn't-"

"No, Dan, hush." I cut him off, knowing exactly where he was going. He complied. "I already said I forgave you. That hasn't changed. I'm just curious; out of everyone in school, why me? Was I really that easy of a target?" I added on the last sentence with a chuckle.

Dan pulled away from our hug, causing me to pout. He was honestly really comfortable, and I was feeling the loss. For a minute Dan just stared at me, and I couldn't resist staring back into his eyes. They were more beautiful than ever in the pale lighting of a single lamp, practically flowing with emotions I couldn't decipher. I didn't feel a need to though, not when his face was coated in a deep blush and his bottom lip was sucked in by his teeth. My breath hitched as I looked around his face, far beyond caring if it was weird.

By the time he spoke, I had forgotten I was waiting for an answer. "I...I thought you were kinda cute," he muttered, causing both of our faces to erupt in flames, myself quickly looking down.

"Oh..." I muttered back, not even remotely expecting that answer. Dan thought I was cute? How did that even make any sense? I soon realised I was too tired to process the information, sighing as I looked out the window again. "Hey, it's getting pretty late, my mum's gunna be worried about me if I don't get going..." I said, still inexplicably quiet.

Dan didn't respond, and reluctantly I looked up to face him, my face still worryingly warm. However I was met with the cutest thing ever: Dan looking down, blushing, and biting his lip. He looked so worried, and before I could even think about it I leaned forwards. I planted a kiss on his cheek, quickly pulling away and awaiting his reaction.

Dan's head snapped up to look at me, blushing seemingly even more. He just stared at me in awe, fingers slowly reaching up to brush over where my lips had pressed against. I saw him smile a little, more genuinely than I thought I had ever seen him smile, and my heart felt as if it would burst. I was just so happy. His smile made me so happy I didn't know what to do with myself. Though it was replaced with a devious smirk, a glint in his perfect eyes, and a pout of his bottom lip. Suddenly I couldn't keep my eyes off it.

"Come on, can't you stay just a little bit longer? You're comfier than my pillows," he said in a sly voice, and I subconsciously licked my lips.

"Okay, but just a few minutes," I said, grinning when his entire face lit up. The boy settled back down into me, pushing me back until he was practically laying on me. I giggled as he buried his head into my side.

After a minute or two he had fallen asleep, and I planted a gentle kiss onto his head. Soon enough I fell asleep too in a cocoon of warm, comfort, and Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me comments telling me what you thought, I love any and all feedback!  
> Okay I don't think I did that bad updating it. If so I was doing funeral stuff for the last few days, I'm kind of exhausted, whatever. Still better than I usually am, especially after posting a HPTI chapter so recently. Go me.  
> If you're upset about time or whatever, I hope I at least made up for it in fluff and cuteness. This chapter was happy to write. :)  
> Yeah I don't have much else to say.  
> I did it!  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter <3


	15. Chapter 15

When I woke up I was affronted with three things; there was the shrill beep of an alarm going off, I wasn't in my home, and, most strongly, I was warm. As much as I wanted too, I couldn't ignore the first two things and groaned in distaste, burying my head in the unfamiliar pillow. It wasn't until a body -the source of all the warmth, I quickly figured out- stirred next to me that I finally turned around.

It only took me a moment after that to recognise my surroundings as Dan's room, and the figure next to me as Dan. He begrudgingly sat up and slammed a button on the alarm somewhere off to the right before exhaling strongly and flopping back down next to me. I couldn't help but stare at him. His eyes were closed delicately, his cheeks sporting a light dusting of pink. Dan's hair was frizzy and out of place, and I realised I had never seen it messy before. It even curled slightly at the edges. His lips were slightly parted, breathing softly as if he were still asleep. His shirt had crumpled up in various places, revealing parts of his collar bone and stomach. I couldn't help but stare at where it had ridden up, taking in the fan expanse of skin with some muscles faintly outlined.

I heard the clearing of a throat, and my head whipped up to where the other boy was now staring at me with an eyebrow raised. I blushed profusely, muttering an apology.

"Like what you see, Lester?" Dan asked, a smirk on his face. I sighed and shoved him lightly.

"Good morning to you too," I mumbled grumpily, pushing myself into a sitting position. I stood up and stretched out, Dan soon following and stumbling across his room. He walked over to his wardrobe and pulled out a t-shirt. I just sort of awkwardly stood by and picked up my backpack, not having any clothes to change into or hairbrush or toothbrush or anything.

Dan pulled off his own t-shirt and once again my eyes were drawn across his strong tan torso, but this time I pulled my eyes up to his face before he turned back around. Dan still smirked at me, but this time he just laughed and shook his head.

"You want to borrow a t-shirt?" he asked, and I nodded slowly.

"If it isn't a bother," I said, shrugging.

"Stop being so passive, Lester. Come on, I won't bite," he said, smiling over at me.

"Promise?" I said, pouting out my lip and batting my eyes. He didn't reply, only rolled his eyes and turned to his wardrobe.

"Well I've got to go straighten my hair," Dan said, turning around with another t-shirt in hand, "so you won't have to worry about me creepily staring at your naked body while I think I'm being subtle."

"Hey, I was /not/ staring!" I cried, crossing my arms across my chest. He laughed, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Keep telling yourself that," Dan chuckled.

I pouted again. "Besides, I think your hair looks good. I never knew it was curly," I said, laughing when he immediately chucked the shirt at my head.

"Shut up. I hate it, I look like a hobbit," he said, looking annoyed. "Unless you want me staring at you undressing?" he said, raising his eyebrow. I wiggled my eyebrows at him and he immediately turned towards the door, muttering something that sounded like, "you perv." I giggled as I changed into his t-shirt.

* * * * *

"Hey Phil, why have you been wearing a hoodie all day?" Pj asked. We were sitting at our lunch table, having been the first two to arrive again today. I shrugged.

"I'm just cold, I guess," I said, looking down at my lunch bag to hide my blush. I had in fact been wearing the hoodie all day because I knew Pj would recognise that my shirt wasn't mine.

He narrowed his eyes a bit. "You never wear your hoodie inside. And you're blushing. What's up?"

I rolled my eyes. "I am not blushing," I said defensively. Peej rolled his eyes back at me.

"Are too. Seriously, what's so special about your hoodie? Don't make me tackle you and rip it off," Pj threatened, and I laughed. While I was definitely not as strong as anyone, the idea of Pj tackling anyone was comical.

"I think I'm coming down with a bit of a cold, that's all," I said. Chris walked up at that moment, and I sighed out.

"Hello my people; worry not, I have returned," he said, bowing a little as Pj giggled. "So, what are we talking about?" Chris asked, sitting down, and I had to bite back a groan.

"Why Phil won't take off his hoodie. He never wears a hoodie, but he's been wearing it all day," Pj replied, causing me to glare at him.

"I told you, I'm getting a cold," I said quietly, opening a bag of grapes most intensely than probably necessary.

"Aw come on Phil," Chris said. "What're you hiding? Forget a shirt or something?"

"No, I've got a shirt on, I'm just cold, okay?" I snapped.

Everyone went quiet for a few moments, and I looked up. I was surprised to see they both looked sort of worried. I felt a bit guilty and softened my expression. It was sort of unreasonable to get this upset.

"Phil, what're you hiding?" Pj asked far too seriously.

"Nothing, guys. I don't know what you're thinking, but it's almost certainly not true. I'm fine," I said, offering a weak smile.

"Take off the hoodie, Phil," Peej said evenly, and I sighed. Sometimes I swore he was my mum instead of my friend. I reluctantly took off my sweatshirt. Pj's brow furrowed. Chris just looked lost, looking back and forth between the two of us.

"What am I missing? Why is that a big deal?" he said. I was about to answer, but Pj beat me to it.

"That's not Phil's t-shirt," he said. "Why were you hiding that?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my fringe. "Because I knew you'd make a big deal of it when it's really nothing," I said.

"Well I'm not one to judge," Chris said, "but I think hiding it was a bit counterproductive mate."

"Clearly," I mumbled.

"So where'd you get the shirt?" Pj asked.

"I just borrowed it, that's all," I said, meeting his skeptical gaze.

Then Chris broke out in a smirk. "Weren't you at Dan's last night?"

I groaned and hid my head in my hands, blushing furiously. Both of my friends started laughing hysterically.

"This is why I don't tell you things," I muttered.

"Hey, you guys don't mind if I sit with you still, right?" a familiar voice spoke, and I couldn't help but smile. I poked my head up from my hands to be met with a fidgety and quiet Dan.

"Of course not," I replied, blushing and I was just met with more laughter from the two sat beside me.

Dan awkwardly and stiffly sat down. "What's so funny?"

"You two," Chris said through laughs. Dan just raised his eyebrow at me, and I blushed again.

"So tell us, what did you two get up to last night?" Pj asked, smiling.

"Yeah, what exactly did you do to our poor innocent Phil over here?" Chris added on, and I had never wanted to smack a person more.

"What?!?" Dan sputtered out, eyes wide.

"Guys, stop it. And what are you, my parents?" I chastised them.

"Yes. Pj's your mum and I'm your dad, now what happened?" Chris said.

"Hey, how come I'm his mum?" Pj snapped. I giggled this time.

"You've always been my mum Pj," I said, rolling my eyes as he glared at me. "You, on the other hand," I said, turning to Chris, "haven't I only known you since Friday?"

"Okay, I'm sorry, but what's going on?" Dan asked, eyes still wide. I made sure to answer before either of the others could get there.

"They saw I was wearing your t-shirt and are both insanely immature," I said with a sigh.

"Ew, no, fuck off," Dan scoffed. I looked at him, puzzled. Obviously nothing had happened, but he was so quick to dismiss it I couldn't help but take it to heart. I didn't expect him to like me or anything, but did he really have to immediately deem it disgusting? Hadn't he said he thought I was cute?

"Then what's with the t-shirt?" Pj asked reasonably.

"We were working on our project and we fell asleep," Dan answered seriously. Why did he take this so seriously? I couldn't help but feel hurt. "Since it was unplanned Phil only had his t-shirt from yesterday, I let him borrow one."

"Okay, if you say so," Pj said, looking satisfied. Chris wiggled his eyebrows.

"You sure nothing happened?" he asked in his usual tone, his smirk practically audible.

"Yeah, I told you, ew," Dan said, looking a bit less intense this time. He looked relieved they believed him. Was it really so bad to think we may be together? Even to people who were rather blatantly not homophobic or assholes? Dan was still probably straight, but he didn't even consider me as a joke. Was I really that bad?

"I have to pee," I said suddenly, drawing everyone's eyes to me. I probably sounded completely deadpan, but I was across the room before anyone could react.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments, I strive off feedback!  
> Most of this chapter was written in a funeral home. Feel chilled. *ghost noises*  
> Anywho, sorry if I snapped a bit at anyone who asked when the next update was or encouraged me too. I love getting all comments, I've just been a bit stressed because I've had to go to a lot of funerals recently. It's fine though I'm fine don't worry I still want to write obviously don't feel bad idk.  
> Shoutout to the beautiful guest who was writing me like freaking essays of praise.  
> I should probably write more HPTI before more of this, but as this gets fluffier and cuter I get more comments about this being updated and idk. So sorry if anyone likes HPTI and I neglect it, it's my baby and I love it. Though I'm pretty sure this is everyone's favourite and no one's bothered whoops lol that's good.  
> Anywho, I haven't much to say...  
> Follow me on Wattpad for my phanfiction recommendations. I've read a lot and I've picked out the best.  
> Cool.  
> Anywho, I hope you like this chapter! Tata!


	16. Chapter 16

"Something's bothering you," Dan said. The statement made me look up abruptly from where I was digging around in my book bag. He had already laid on his bed on his stomach, head propped on his hands and facing me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking as innocent as possible. I felt so stupid, but I hadn't been able to quite shake off the sting of Dan's disgust earlier. I had thought I'd been hiding it well, and now I was embarrassed. I couldn't tell him what was wrong, it would freak him out even more. To my dismay, Dan rolled his eyes.

"Ever since you left at lunch you've been acting weird. I didn't want to say anything until we were alone, but I know something's wrong," he explained matter-of-factly. I inhaled sharply.

"No, nothing's wrong, Dan," I said, to which he looked unimpressed. Dan raised a single eyebrow and just stared at me. I sighed. "Okay, maybe something is, but I'm just being stupid. It's not a big deal."

"Of course it's a big deal. Anything that upsets you is a big deal," Dan said simply. My heart swelled a bit, and I chastised my natural reaction. Now was not the time. I pouted and crossed my arms.

"Come on, just let me mope in peace," I whined in a final attempt to shake off his worry.

"No," he replied curtly, and I sighed.

"Fine," I muttered. His face lit up, and I couldn't help but smile a bit. I took a deep breath. "It's just...at lunch, when Chris and Pj were talking about me wearing your shirt... Obviously nothing had happened last night, but when they suggested it did...you were disgusted. Like, again, obviously nothing did happen, but do I really warrant an 'ew'? Am I really that bad?" I said, looking anywhere but his face. My own face was bright red by this point. Shit, why had I said that?

The silence stretched on, each painfully long second stabbing me in the heart. I was getting ready for him to call me a freak and throw me out. I was prepared for him to never want to see or talk to me ag-

"Oh," he said after what felt like hours, and I inhaled sharply, bracing for impact. I knew this was the end, this was where Dan was done with me. "I'm sorry."

My head snapped up so fast I was surprised I didn't get whiplash. My eyes widened and I stared at him, bewildered. His stupid pretty eyes looked sad and guilty, and I probably would have not hesitated to slap the look off his face if I wasn't so confused. "You...you w-what?" I ended up stuttering incredulously. "You're not mad?" His eyebrows shot together.

"What? Why would I be mad? Of course I'm sorry, that was mean. You're not disgusting, Phil, I shouldn't have made you think that," Dan said calmly, looking sincerely at me. I continued to stare confused at him.

"What?" I eventually cried out again, at a loss of what else to say. He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"You're not disgusting Phil, I'm sorry I made you feel that way. Saying ew is just a force of habit I guess. All my other friends were kinda homophobic and I'm used to denying it. I'm really sorry, Phil. Honest," he said, looking at me again, biting his lip.

I just stared at him, dumbfounded. As I blinked a few times, it seemed to be his turn to be looking anywhere but me. "Really?" I practically squeaked. My face was completely enveloped in flush, and I couldn't help a small smile from creeping onto my lips. "You really don't think I'm disgusting?"

He looked up at me, seemingly genuinely surprised. "Of course not. Did you really think that?" Dan asked. I nodded, still blushing. "Oh, well I am so sorry. That's really shitty, wow," he said with a humourless laugh.

I smiled at him, my tongue poking out a bit between my teeth. That was a bad habit I was in. "So...last night, when you said I was cute, you meant it...?" I asked quietly, looking down again.

I heard Dan giggle across the room, and I felt my cheeks heat up even more. "Yeah, I think you're cute Lester," he said, and I looked up. I grinned stupidly and giggled a bit myself, causing his tan face to tint pink as well. "Hey, cut that out."

"Never," I said, sighing in relief. "You know, I think you're pretty cute too, Dan," I said. I had no idea where the sudden confidence boost came from, but I went with it gladly.

He smiled and blushed harder. "Really?" Dan said, biting his lip again. This time I couldn't help but stare at it, slightly mesmerised.

"Yeah, really," I said, and Dan looked up. We both just stared at each other for a while, me getting lost in his perfect eyes as usual. After an uncertain amount of time, he coughed and spoke.

"We should probably finish that essay," he said, seeming reluctant.

I sighed. "Yeah, probably. Let's get to work."

* * * * *

"Aaaaaand, done!" Dan exclaimed, a smile on his face. There was a matching one on mine as he flopped down next to me where I was laying on his bed. We had finally finished our essay, and it was a huge relief.

"Yay," I said, and did a little dance. Dan laughed at me, and I just responded with a stupid grin. "So, should we work on the poster now? It's not that late yet, we still have at least two more usable hours."

I heard a sigh next to me before he spoke out in a small voice. "Do I have to?"

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help but look at Dan sympathetically. He looked so torn up about having to draw the stupid little pictures, and I was mad at their existence. Why did we need to draw pictures for history class anyways? The quality of art wasn't exactly something they could grade us on, they weren't allowed to take points off if it looked like shit. All it accomplished was hurting Dan's self esteem.

Then I had an idea, and I sat up quickly with a refreshed smile. "Hey, I'll make you a deal. Since this is just history and the drawings don't matter, how about you draw half of them and I'll draw half of them with my left hand?" I proposed, smirking and hoping my idea would work.

Dan raised his eyebrow at me, but I didn't miss the way his eyes lit up at the suggestion. He soon mimicked my smirk, and I had to restrain myself from smiling so hard my mouth fell off. "Really? Even I can draw better than that," he scoffed.

I snorted in response. "Oh yeah? It's on, Howell."

"Fine by me, Lester," Dan snapped back.

So, for the next half hour or so we decided what to draw to go with each piece of information on our board. When we actually got to drawing I volunteered to go first, and after two minutes we both had stitches in our sides from laughing at my crappy attempt at drawing.

This went on for another hour or so as we both perfected our horrible art, by the end of it practically competing to see who could do the worst drawing. And for a little while, Dan didn't seem upset at his lack of artistic ability, and I forgot about my temporary ailment. We were both broken up in fits of laughter, admiring our horrible looking art surrounding the information.

In a strange kind of way, it was almost beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment feedback, it is all welcome and loved!  
> Okay, phew, hi people. I'm back from the dead. Sorry I just disappeared for a bit, I honestly have no excuse. I've lost track of time and lost focus.  
> I know for anyone who's reading HPTI I said I would update that soon, and hopefully I will get that done. I've hit a bit of a bump, but I bet if I find my focus I can get it. Worry not.  
> Anywho, I don't really have much to say here. Hopefully I can get a few more chapters of things written before school starts again in a few weeks. Sorry I suck at updating and stuff. You know, the usual.  
> Whatever.  
> Thank you all so much for reading this fic, I am so overjoyed at how well it's doing, I never even imagined it. I'll probably go back and revise some things soon, because at the beginning of the story there are a lot of inconsistencies, and one thing I'm going back to change for the (probably) next chapter.  
> I love any and all feedback, thank you all so much for the nice comments, I love them to death and each one makes my day! :*


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that since I last updated I went back and revised/edited this whole thing, so any inconsistencies with the past are intentional and I changed the past. Whoop

"Now remember class, the partner project is due tomorrow, and counts for a significant part of your semester grade. Any days late will result in 10 points off your score, so I recommend getting it in on time," droned our history teacher. For once in my life I actually had a project done before two in the morning the day it was due. It was very relaxing, and kind of surreal.

The bell rang and the room filled with the sounds of backpack zippers and shuffling papers. I shoved my useless notebook back into my bag and stood up. I looked over next to me to see Dan standing there staring at the ground with his bag over one shoulder.

I cleared my throat and raised my eyebrow when he looked up at me.

"Phil," he started, sounding oddly nervous. "I was wondering if you still wanted to come over and hang out today, even though we finished already. I mean you don't have to, I just thought, you know..." Dan trailed off, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. My face broke out into a huge grin.

"I would love to," I replied, to which he looked back up at me and matched my smile. We both started walking towards the door, a comfortable silence falling over us as we stopped by both of our lockers and then left the building.

As we set on the route to his house, we started aimlessly chatting about our schoolwork. There had been a maths test today, and we both agreed it was unreasonably hard.

When we got to his house we headed towards the kitchen like usual. However, I was startled to see another figure in the room. There was a middle aged looking woman standing in the middle of the room. She was wearing a pretty green dress and her curly hair was the same shade of brown as Dan's. It looked just as soft.

"Hello, Dan. How was school?" she asked with a smile as she saw us approach.

"It was fine, mum," Dan said, practically expressionless. He went over to the cupboard where they kept their snack foods, and I awkwardly followed behind him. I didn't dare speak unless spoken to.

Dan's mum rolled her eyes. "Well aren't you going to introduce me to your friend here?" she said, smiling at me. I smiled back. Dan sighed and turned around from the cupboard.

"Mum, this is Phil," he said curtly.

I waved from across the room. "Hello. It's lovely to meet you," I said. I was quite an advocate of being polite.

"You too, Phil," Mrs. Howell said, smiling even wider at me. She really did seem like a nice lady. "So, are you the elusive friend that's been keeping Dan holed up in his room recently?" she asked sweetly. I chuckled.

"Yeah, that'd be me. Sorry about that," I said. "We've been working on a project for history class."

"Oh please, any time," she said with a laugh. "He never brings any friends around he-"

"That's enough, mum," Dan says, grabbing my arm and dragging me across the room. I couldn't help but giggle a bit.

"It was nice to meet you, Phil!" Dan's mum said as I was pulled away.

"You too, Mrs. Howell!" I called behind me. Dan shoved a package of sweets into my arms before dragging me up the rest of the way to his room. By the time we got there, I was still laughing. He closed the door behind us, grabbed the sweets back from me, and groaned out loud.

"Shut up, Lester," he said, annoyed. I sucked in both my lips to keep from laughing more.

"Yes, sir," I said, giving him a mock salute.

"What's so funny, anyways? Are you just some sort of sadist?" he asked, flopping down on his bed.

"You were just so embarrassed by your mum. She seemed like a perfectly nice lady, shame on you Dan," I said, settling for a stupid grin over laughing more. Dan groaned again.

"Yeah, but she doesn't need to tell literally everyone I bring over no one ever comes here," he muttered. I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to hear that, but I flopped on the bed next to him and responded anyways.

"Is that true? That no one ever comes over?" I asked nonchalantly. I was genuinely curious, seeing as he had always been such popular person. It was hard to imagine Dan didn't have friends over at least every now and then.

He sighed and ran a hand through his fringe. "Not really, no. All my friends would poke fun at all my nerdy interest, so I decided a while ago I'd let myself have my room as my own private place. I haven't had someone over in years, probably," he said, looking dejectedly at the floor. Me of all people knew what it was like to be picked on for my interests, so I sympathised greatly for him.

I couldn't decide how to comfort him, seeing as he was lying on his front. I couldn't exactly hug him. So I awkwardly manoeuvred my arm around to squeeze Dan's shoulder, hoping he would get the message. He smiled over at me.

"Well, no use worrying about those losers now. They mean nothing to me," he said cheerily, reaching over to turn on some music. As the familiar notes of a Muse song filled the room, I smiled back at him and flopped back down. It made me so happy to see he was a better, happier person now. Now that I thought about it, I was a lot happier too.

* * * * *

"It's nearly dark outside, we can't start a whole new album," I whined at Dan hours later. I knew I would have to head home in maybe half an hour, and I didn't want to spend all of that time on just music. Knowing us, we'd spend more than half of that just deciding what to listen to (bickering), leaving not enough time to properly listen to all of it anyways.

"Fine," Dan giggled, clearly thinking the same as me. "What do you suggest we do then?"

I scanned around the room, looking for any viable options. There wasn't nearly enough time to watch a film. I wasn't really in the mood to play any games, seeing as they had been pretty calm the entire visit. Games only spurred virtual violence and screaming at each other. We could do homework, but the very thought was laughable. My eyes rolled over his desk, stopping only for a moment to admire the pictures before continuing. Eventually my gaze landed on the keyboard in the corner.

"Hey, Dan?" I found myself asking. Dan hummed in acknowledgement. "Can you play the piano?"

Everything was silent for a minute, and it felt intrusive to even breathe. I looked over at him and see him simply staring at me, biting his lip. He quickly looked away when I looked up. I hurriedly went to speak again.

"I mean, I just-"

"Yeah, sure," he said, nodding slowly. Dan was still biting his lip, and I couldn't help but stare. I shook my head a bit as he got up and walked over to the seat by his keyboard.

He sat there for a few minutes fiddling with some things on the keyboard and the placement of his hands, but just as I was about to speak again, Dan cleared his throat. He patted the seat next to him, scooting over to one side. I smiled and quickly followed him over. He wouldn't look up at me, but I couldn't help but watch as he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and started to play.

Nearly instantly I was mesmerised. I couldn't help but stare at his hands moving across the keys until I couldn't even focus anymore. It wasn't necessarily that it was the most skilled piano I had ever heard or anything, but there was something hypnotic about it. It was an experience, watching him play. His hands moved so fluently, unlike I had seen him use them with a pencil. Even every so often when he would make a mistake, on the keys his hands just looked at home.

By the time the song was over, I realised I didn't even know what song he had played. I was just left staring dumbfounded at the keys that looked so bare without his warm hands across them.

"So," Dan said, causing my gaze to snap up to his face. There was the pale light of the sunset illuminating his face perfectly, coated in blush and biting his lip. He was beautiful. "What'd you think?"

That was when Dan looked up at me, and I couldn't help but gasp. Out of all the time I had spent creepily staring at his eyes, they were never more beautiful than in that moment. The colours were practically swirling, making my insides twist and my head feel fuzzy. I could've sworn I smelt cinnamon.

"It was beautiful," I said, surprised to find myself breathless. "I thought you said your hands shook...?" I couldn't help but ask. It probably wasn't the most sensitive I could've been, but my mind was racing and my words were mush. Everything was quiet, including my breathless whispers and Dan's melodic voice. I realised he was staring back at me and but my lip. I became acutely aware of how close together on the bend we were sitting. Our faces were hardly a hand's length apart.

"Yeah, they do. But music always calms me down, and I guess it just helps steady me," Dan said, shrugging. At this point we were practically breathing the same air. Everything felt warm and soft.

"Have I ever told you you've got really beautiful eyes?" I found myself saying. I couldn't even find it in myself to regret the words when the corners of his lips turned up ever so slightly. My eyes were drawn to them, running my gaze across where the soft pink of Dan's mouth met the soft pink of his cheeks. Somehow we had gotten even closer when I wasn't paying attention. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. I bit my own lip, and couldn't help but notice how Dan's gaze followed my motion too.

Then my phone went off loudly, making me jump backwards, blinking as I snapped out of whatever trance I was in. Dan awkwardly looked down and scratched the back of his neck while I inhaled sharply, both our faces practically coated in blush. I quickly fished my phone out of my pocket, reading a text from my mum.

"Well, my mum wants me home," I said, blushing even more furiously at how dejected I sounded.

"Yeah, okay," Dan said, nodding a bit.  
I went to get up off the small bench, when all of the sudden I was enveloped in a hug. I caught myself before I jumped in surprise again, smiling and hugging Dan back. His body was warm against mine, and I couldn't help but squeeze him slightly before we both let go. We stared at each other for a few more moments, eventually coughing and turning away.

I stumbled off the bench, collecting my back pack and walking towards his bedroom door.

"Bye, Dan. I had a nice time today," I rushed out, turning back around to the boy in the corner. He looked so small and red, I just wanted to hug him again. Dan looked back up at me, and flashed me his biggest smile yet.

"I did too, Phil. See you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow," I said, returning the smile before pushing his door open and practically falling into the hallway. Once out there I shook my head and steadied myself.

When I walked down the steps, Mrs. Howell standing there staring upstairs in awe was not what I was expecting to see. What she said next surprised me even more.

"Was that you playing the piano, Phil?" she asked, not breaking her gaze off of who knows what upstairs. My brow furrowed in confusion.

"No, it was Dan. I don't play the piano," I said, very confused.

That's when Mrs. Howell finally snapped her head over to face me, and I was shocked to be met with teary brown eyes that looked similar to Dan's.

"He hasn't played since we moved here. He said he left that part of him behind," she said, still sounding in awe, her voice breaking towards the end of the sentence.

"Oh," I said stupidly, not really knowing how else to react. "Well, he played it just now," I added on. When I got no reply, I awkwardly continued. "Well, my mum said I ought to be heading home now, so..."

She shook her head and blinked a few times, smiling lightly at me. "Yes, of course. It was a pleasure having you Phil. Please know you're welcome here at any time."

I did my best to return the smile. "Thanks. It was nice meeting you," I said, walking the rest of the way to the door. When it closed behind me, I was left alone with my thoughts, but I wasn't sure where to start. Nonetheless, I couldn't help the smile that crept onto my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and tell me what you think, nothing makes me happier!  
> EY IM NOT DEAD  
> IM SO SORRY  
> I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED OKAY  
> anyways now that that's out of the way  
> Did you want to punch a wall reading this chapter or what ;)  
> As I said in the other note, I did actually go back and edit and revise this entire fic since I last updated, which makes me super happy. Honestly before there were a ton of inconsistencies and horrible typos, it gives me so much more peace of mind now that it's fixed.  
> School is starting next week *cries* and I still have a few books to read before that happens, so if it's even possible my update schedule will only get worse soon. I'm sorry  
> BUT there's only a short few chapters left of this fic! Huzzah! Also HPTI, but I have a less clear idea of what happens after the climax there. Just know it's awesome.  
> I don't have much else to say, so...  
> Hope you enjoyed, hope to talk to you again soon!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAHHHHHH  
> IT HAS RETURNED

I still couldn't get over the fact that I had almost kissed Dan. When I had woken up this morning, I had had to convince myself it wasn't all just a dream.  
   
When I walked into gym class and to the locker rooms, I was surprised to see that it wasn't empty. I always tried my hardest to get in and out of the locker rooms as quickly as possible to avoid conflicts. However, today I was met with another figure alone in the locker room. Quickly I recognised him as Dan, and the smile that had been etched on my face since last night only grew.  
   
I made sure the door closed quietly behind me. Dan hadn't seen me yet, so I intended to sneak up on him standing by his locker. I inched forward, but stopped again in my tracks when Dan started to peel off his shirt.  
   
Before I could stop myself, I was staring at Dan's perfect torso. I saw it that one time in his room, but it was still stunning, especially in the better lighting. I licked my lips before I could realise how creepy that was and not do it, but quickly corrected myself and settled on biting my lip instead.  
   
"Enjoying the view, perv?" Dan asked, still facing the lockers, making me jump.  
   
"Huh?" I sputtered out, watching him turn around and laugh at me. Blush overtook my face, and Dan only laughed harder.  
   
"Oh don't even deny it, you were staring!" he exclaimed, to which I just sighed and continued walking to my locker.  
   
I turned away, embarrassed, as he finished getting changed. I opened my locker and followed suit, and despite his continues laughter I could have sworn I saw him looking too.  
   
* * * * *  
   
"Okay I knew you guys weren't too athletic, but that was truly pathetic," Dan laughed at Chris and I as we walked from the gym to the cafeteria.  
   
"Not everyone can be good at running, Dan," I whined as we all sat down.  
   
"Yeah," Chris piped in, "everyone's got their own talents, Dan. It's like Yin and Yang or some shit. You couldn't be good at running if there was no one to be bad. Or something like that," he finished with a smug look.  
   
"Did that even make any sense?" Dan asked, seeking genuinely confused. I wasn't too far behind him.  
   
"Besides, what exactly is your talent?" I retorted, scoffing. Chris rolled his eyes.  
   
"What /isn't/ my talent, honestly? I, my friend, am a jack of all trades," Chris said, sounding exasperated.  
   
"Well, running isn't your talent," Dan pointed out. Chris only blinked and stared at him blankly. I couldn't have held in my giggles if I had wanted to (which I didn't).  
   
"Hello, my respectable acquaintances," Pj said as he approached the table and sat down next to Chris.  
   
"Well, if acquaintance is code for person I plan on banging in the near future, then hello acquaintance," Chris said, a stupid grin encompassing his face as Dan, Pj, and I all sputtered.  
   
"Chris!" Pj scolded, a deep blush capturing his cheeks.  
   
"What?" Chris asks, playing innocent.  
   
"Too much information, dude," I muttered.  
   
"Agreed," Dan said.  
   
Chris looked like he was about to burst out laughing, apparently having gotten the reaction he was going for. But before he could say another word, Pj stopped him (thank god).  
   
"Anyways," Pj said quickly. "You two done with your project yet?" He nodded at Dan and I.  
   
"Yeah," I said. "It's due today in class, but we actually finished on Wednesday."  
   
"Wait, but didn't you say you were at Dan's house yesterday?" Pj asked. Before I could stop myself, I thought back to last night and what had almost happened. Blush dusted my cheeks, but it was so light I hoped no one else noticed.   
   
"Yeah, we just hung out," I said as nonchalantly as possible, emphasising it with a shrug. Technically nothing /did/ happen, but it sure felt like something did. Chris started smirking again, and I held back a groan.  
   
"They totally banged," he said matter-of-factly. My eyes were blown wide and I heard Dan choke on his food next to me. Pj merely raised an eyebrow at this.  
   
"No we didn't!" I exclaimed, practically choking myself.  
   
"You sure?"  
   
"Yes!"  
   
"Then did you at least kiss?" Chris asked, looking hopeful. /You and me both, Chris/ I couldn't help but think.  
   
"No!" Dan said this time, seeming to have stopped choking. "Nothing happened!"  
   
Chris looked a bit dejected at how adamant we were. "You absolutely sure?"  
   
"Yes, Chris," I said, a tone of finality to my voice. "Now can we please just talk about something else?"  
   
"Yeah, okay," Pj answered for Chris. "So, since you're done with the project, you still on for pizza later?"  
   
I smiled. "Course, it's Friday. I'd never miss a pizza day, especially since it's your week to pay," I said.   
   
"Sweet," Pj said, smiling back. "Chris, you're coming again this week, right?"  
   
"What, coming to where you buy me pizza? Obviously," he said through a mouth full of food.  
   
"Ew, Chris, close your mouth," I said, cringing.  
   
"What are you, my mum?" he said, making sure to speak while he still had a mouth full of food. I merely rolled my eyes.  
   
"Dan, you joining us?" Pj said, surprising me. At the thought I smiled again, turning to Dan. I looked over at him with a hopeful expression, probably practically glowing out my eyeballs.  
   
Before Dan looked back at me I caught him looking slightly taken aback. Then he looked over at me and smiled, seeming to be holding back a laugh.  
   
"Well I would've said yes anyways, but after that facial expression I don't think it would be human to say no," he said, giggling a bit at me. I just gave him the widest grin I could manage.  
   
"Just fucking make out already," Chris muttered.  
   
* * * * *

"Wait, what happened to the tree?!?" Dan cried.

"Trust me," Chris said, cringing, "you don't want to know." Dan looked slightly horrified, but Pj and I were both laughing and eating our pizza.

"Tell me again where you grew up?" Pj said, still laughing.

"I never told you a first time, I can't tell you again," Chris replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Well from that story it may as well be Narnia," I said, shaking my head and taking another slice of pizza from the box. Chris chuckled

"Yeah, well for all you know it might be," he said, stuffing his face at the same time.

"Come on Phil, now he'll never tell us where he's from," Pj whined.

"Well," Chris said, stroking his chin, "maybe I'll tell you later, depending on how tonight goes," he finished with a smirk.

"Chris, do you even want to come over?" Pj asked, looking exasperated. Chris just flashed him a stupid grin and winked. "Then shut up," Pj added, and Chris' face fell.

"Hey hey hey, let's not be hasty now," Chris said, looking worried.

"New topic," I interjected, really not wanting this conversation to go any farther.

"I second that," Dan agreed. Chris sighed.

"Fine, fine," he said. "So all of you three are just from here then?"

"Nah, I moved here when I was twelve," Dan answered. I tried to think back to when Dan first moved here, but found I didn't really remember. My only clear memories of Dan were of the past couple of weeks. Everything else was just a sort of blur of pain and fear. I shook my head to clear it, that didn't matter anymore.

"Yeah? Where're you from then?" Chris asked.

Dan smirked. "Middle Earth," he said, and when Chris sighed he burst out laughing. Pj and I did too. We were all still laughing when Pj's phone went off. He shook his head a bit as he pulled out his phone and opened his text. Rather abruptly, Pj stopped laughing and face palmed.

"Shit, I forgot, my mum said I had to be home early today. I've got to go. Come on Chris," he said, standing up and shrugging on his backpack. Chris quickly followed suit.

"I'm staying over tonight, right?" he said with a smirk. Pj rolled his eyes.

"Yes, now come on," he sighed. "Bye guys," he smiled at Dan and I as he started leading Chris away from the table.

"Bye," Dan and I said in unison. Then we both looked at each other, not quite knowing what to say. For a little while we just sort of sat there eating, before we both started speaking at the same time.

"So yeah now-"

"So would you maybe-"

We both blushed and stuttered over each other, though I wasn't quite sure why.

"Oh, sorry, you go," I said, smiling over. Dan blushed even more and bit his lip before looking up to meet my gaze.

"I was just wondering if you, uh, maybe...you know, if you can...if you wanted, you know, to-uh, stay over my house tonight...?" Dan stuttered out all in a blurry rush. I still understood what he said though, and I couldn't help the giant grin that overtook my features.

"Yeah, okay. Sounds great."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So please comment stuff, every one makes my day and I live off feedback!  
> Right  
> So  
> Hi there  
> Long time no write  
> Sorry bout that  
> School just started up you know, and I've been getting back into the swing of that. I've still been writing this in little bits and pieces, but it hasn't really been a priority. No promises for future schedules (let's be real, you and I both know I won't keep them)  
> Shoutout to PhubbyBubby, who has been reading my stuff and commenting forever (you always make me smile) and recently commented on an old chapter again just to ask how I was. You've no idea how happy that made me, thank you you sweet person :)  
> Anyways, sorry if this chapter seemed sort of fillery, adding in my next plot point would have made it WAY too long for one chapter.  
> BUT I actually got my shit together and outlined the last bit of this. If everything goes according to plan, there will be 22 chapters plus an epilogue of this. I think that's reasonable with my plan. Yeah. So I have no idea how long that will take, but that's the game plan.  
> I just noticed now as I got on here this fix hit 9000 reads??? Thank you so fluffing much you beautiful people I love so much???  
> Sorry to anyone who like HPTI btw, all I can say is whoops. Don't worry I haven't abandoned it. It's just...yeah I don't have excuses just sorry >.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS FOUR AM I NEED TO GET UP AT TEN THIRTY BUT I GOT MOTIVATED

"FUCK YOU LESTER," Dan screamed.

"You wish," I smirked back, only to be shoved in the side. "Hey! No fair!"

"Now is not the time for jokes you spork!" he cried. "No no no no NO!" he continued yelling as my kart crossed the finish line. I laughed as Dan angrily gripped his controller and made a lot of indecipherable noises of frustration.

"Did you just call me a spork?" I said, masking my smile at how cute he was with more giggles. Luckily he didn't seem to notice, still focussed on his rage.

"They say monopoly ends friendships," Dan muttered, "but they've clearly never played Mario Kart with its fucking blue shells of betrayal."

"I mean have you ever played monopoly?" I replied, now not even bothering with giggling. I felt my tongue poke through my teeth as I grinned over at a pouty Dan. "That shiz gets intense."

I saw Dan's face of anger slowly crack and him just burst out into laughter. I couldn't help but smile as he looked over at me. "Did you just say shiz Phil? Really?"

"Yes," I said, my smile not faltering.

"What, are you afraid to swear or something? Come on, it's just a word," Dan replied, his smile staying put as well.

"No, it's just a bad habit to get into. I don't want to be in public and just blurt out a curse, there are little babies everywhere!" I exclaimed, causing Dan to laugh again. "What's so funny?"

"Are you just the most fucking precious person on this planet or what?" Out of pure shock, I couldn't stop myself from laughing at this statement. "Oh come on, and the tongue thing too! Are you trying to explode my brain with your adorable little mannerisms and philosophies?" I blushed at this, subconsciously closing my mouth while I continued to smile.

"You think I'm adorable?" I squeaked out, blushing even harder at the voice crack. Dan just giggled at me some more.

"I don't think so, I know so," he stated so simply I just sort of tripped over some sounds, never really forming them into words. "Let's go back to my room, I'm done with this stupid game," he added, getting up from the couch and stretching. A little bit of his torso showed when his shirt was lifted a bit, and I made absolutely sure not to stare so he couldn't call me a perv again. For the third time.

"You're only calling it stupid because you lost," I jabbed. When his only reaction was a huff I giggled and got up myself, walking away triumphantly and leading the way back towards his bedroom.

I immediately made myself at home, flopping down on his bed, and shortly after Dan flopped down next to me. I looked out the window to find it was just getting dark outside. I had already been at dans house for a few hours, and we had spent the whole time playing various games and eating junk food. It wasn't quite night yet, but there was a certain hush over the room that made everything soft, almost dreamy. There was just something about the contrast of inside being lighter than outside that made everything warm and surreal. It was the mood that night brought with it. It always gave me a certain confidence, because it felt like nothing that happened would bear weight in the morning. How could anything go wrong when everything felt so soft?

In the comfortable silence that had fallen between us, I found my eyes roaming around Dan's room for the millionth time. I found my eyes taking slowly over the breathtaking pictures all across his desk, and over to the keyboard he had played so beautifully just the night before. I found myself blurting out the question before I could even think about the words I was saying.

"Last night, when I left your house, your mum said you hadn't played the piano in years." I could hear him inhale sharply beside me, but didn't look over to see his face. "She said you left that part of you behind. Why did you play for me last night?"

The silence quickly fell back over us, and the room itself seemed to be waiting for the reply with bated breath. I knew I certainly was. After a minute or so without response, I turned my head to the side. I was met with Dan staring directly at me, biting his lip. I felt myself mimic Dan's sound from earlier at the intensity of those perfect eyes. I felt a tingle run through my entire body. I didn't encourage him to talk, but I didn't change the subject either. I just waited for him to say whatever he had to say. I felt myself biting my lip too in anticipation.

"Because," Dan said after a little while, his voice practically a whisper but still eating away all of the silence in the atmosphere, "you're you."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What does that mean?" I asked in a confused voice. He stared at me for a moment further before taking a deep breath and staring me straight in the eyes, making me simultaneously want to shrink away from his gaze and melt forwards into it. I felt another tingle run through me.

"It means you're special. The relationship I have with you is different than any I've managed to form since...you know. I was a complete dick to you for so many years and you still found it in yourself to forgive me and accept me. You don't make me change who I am. When I'm near you I feel like I used to. I haven't honestly felt this happy since the last time I was properly drawing. Your mere presence inspires me, because the world has been horrible to you, but you still make things and exude happiness and positivity. It means I've never seen a smile that can light up a room faster than yours can and I think I kind of like you a lot," Dan breathed out, getting louder and more definitive with each word he spoke. By the end of his monologue I was gaping at him, my jaw hanging open.

I felt myself start to cry and quickly brought my hand up to wipe away the oncoming tears.

"Shit," Dan said, looking immensely worried. He sat up hurriedly. "I said something wrong, didn't I. Did that freak you out? What did I do? Oh Phil please don't cry," he said, sounding rushed and panicky, looking at me with concern. His hand was awkwardly hovering in the space between us, as if he couldn't decide whether or not it was alright to touch me or not.

I hastily wiped off my face and sat up next to him, reaching out for his shoulder instead. "No no no, Dan, you haven't said anything wrong," I explained with a shaky voice. He looked visibly relieved. "You said everything right. It's just, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me, and I like you a lot too." I found myself start to cry again and laughed at how pathetic I was. "Goddammit eyes why won't you cooperate," I muttered to myself, turning away from Dan and trying to get ahold of myself. I felt his hand on my chin, bringing my face back up to look at him, and I bit my lip when I saw him staring at me from just a few centimetres away.

"Shh. Don't worry, you deserve every word I said," Dan whispered. "It's honestly a shame they were never said before." I couldn't stop looking at his eyes. His fucking eyes. They looked crystal clear and like the colour of the forest just before it gets dark. When everything looks like there's just a tint of brown, and everything looks pretty and soft. Like the world is just swimming in a giant mug of tea, and it's warm and sweet and everything is calm.

"Phil," Dan breathed, somehow even quieter than before, "have I ever told you you've got really beautiful eyes?"

I saw his eyes close just before I registered mine closing as well, and I felt our lips collide, and everything was on fire. Those tingles I had been feeling when he looked at me intensified and everything felt fuzzy. I was numb in the sense I was euphoric, getting high and dizzy off the feel of the soft skin against my own. His lips were just as soft as I'd always imagined, and I practically started crying again.

By the time we pulled away, both of us were gasping for breath, and I couldn't help but look back into his eyes, all of the intensity drained for something much lighter, even prettier than before if possible. The edges crinkled up in joy, and I noticed mine were already there as well. We didn't speak for the longest time, just staring at each other's faces and riding off the high of kissing. Reality was put on the back burner for this fuzzy tea lit dream.

"Yeah," I eventually managed to say, still slightly breathless. "I really like you a lot." Dan let out a little laugh, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Just shut up and kiss me again you idiot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COMMENT AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER  
> I just wrote this is under an hour it's four am I need to wake up at like ten thirty but I got motivated so I just cranked this out  
> FINALLY  
> ARE YOU LESS MAD AT ME NOW  
> TELL ME YOUR REACTION  
> I REALLY LIKE THIS SCENE  
> I updated like a few days ago so nothing much has changed really  
> I'm glad I got this  
> I really like this scene  
> Yay  
> Comment all you lovely people  
> Yay  
> Okay I'm gunna sleep now  
> Peace


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG SCHOOL SUCKS BUT HEY ITS BEEN LESS THAN A MONTH AND THIS IS A LONG ASS CHAPTER SO HERE YOU GO PEOPLE

I did, in fact, kiss Dan again. Many times. As many as I could before he fell asleep, closing those beautiful eyes that made my insides sing. Though by far the best thing that happened came the next day before I had to return home. 

We were cuddled up on the couch, watching some movie we had both seen a hundred times already. Dan was snuggled up into my chest, practically falling asleep again, even though it was the early afternoon.

"Hey, Phil?" he had said, his voice shockingly loud given how quiet everything had been for the past hour or so.

"Yeah Dan?" I responded, raising an eyebrow even though he couldn't see it.

"Can I call you my boyfriend? Like, officially?" he asked, burying his blushing face in my shirt. Though Dan sounded awfully calm. If I had tried to asked that I would have stuttered over every syllable. My face positively lit up.

"Really? You want to be my boyfriend?" I half squeaked, not being able to contain my excitement. He nodded into my shirt, and I squeezed his shoulders. "Of course, Dan. I would /love/ it if you did."

Dan looked up at me, still blushing but now smiling brightly as well. He leaned up and met our lips together, and we were both smiling like idiots the rest of the afternoon.

Now it was Monday, and I had never been more excited to start a new week. Mondays were always painful, but somehow with the prospect of seeing Dan again I was smiling even on the school bus. Also, today was the day I could finally take off my wrist brace. 

Unfortunately, we didn't see each other first period. The first class we had together was gym.

Chris wasn't here today, so when we got out in the field I was by far the slowest left. When the teacher blew the whistle I groaned and started jogging. Dan immediately shot a bit ahead of me, turning around only when I called out, "Hey!"

He grinned at me stupidly, staying a ways ahead of me with ease, even backwards. "What, Phil, can't keep up?" he asked slyly, to which I just rolled my eyes.

"Aw, come on, won't you run with me dan?" I whined, pouting a little at him. When he just laughed at me I sighed.

"If you can catch me," he said, turning back around with a wink. Dan then proceeded to run quite a bit faster. I tried speeding up, but obviously I couldn't keep up. After a few seconds I gave up and went back to flail-jogging slowly in the back.

All of the sudden, there were hands on my shoulders and a person attached to them practically jumping on me. I cried out and instinctively flinched away, ready to attempt to sprint away from whoever it was. But then I heard a distinctive laugh, so I looked over at who it was. It was fucking Dan. I glared and punched him weakly in the shoulder.

"You scared me!" I said, an embarrassing squeak stuck in my voice from the shock. I quickly cleared my throat. Luckily he hadn't heard it.

"Yeah, but your face was priceless!" Dan said, still laughing. I glared at him, and he raised his hands as if to surrender. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. But I am /so/ not sorry," he said, smirking. I rolled my eyes. That was as good as I was going to get. "But you were supposed to try to catch me!" he whined.

"I did, for about 0.2 seconds. Then I ran out of breath and decided the pain wasn't worth it," I replied, and he just shook his head. I could've sworn I saw a fond smile there, so I smiled too. 

"Jesus, Phil, you are just so fucking out of shape," he said, laughing a little.

"Yup. Or maybe I'm secretly the Flash and am just pretending so the teacher won't make me go faster," I said, raising my eyebrow at him. Dan laughed.

"Oh please, if you went full speed and I just started jogging all you'd see is the back of me," he scoffed, still smirking. I returned it.

"I'd be okay with that," I said cheekily, to which he rolled his eyes.

"You really are a perv, Lester," he sighed in fake exasperation.

"And proud," I said, grinning stupidly as he playfully pushed me in the shoulder. "Come on, we need to run before the teacher yells at us," I said reluctantly, letting my face fall and my shoulders slump.

"Aw, does wittle Philly not want to run?" Dan said, beginning to move again at a much slower pace than before. I started dragging my feet next to him.

"No, he does not," I said, pouting. Dan laughed a bit, but kept jogging at the same pace as me, making me raise an eyebrow. "I thought you wanted to go faster."

Dan shrugged. "It's not fun without you chasing me," he replied simply, putting a huge smile on my face.

"Hey guys!" I heard a voice next to us call, wiping my smile off my face quicker than it had gotten there. "Look who it is! Lester and his new friend!" I flinched at the voice that was so obviously Joe's.

I looked down and didn't stop jogging away, but Dan poked me in the shoulder. I looked up at him, biting my lip and hoping the fear I felt wasn't obvious on my face. He smiled at me, and it calmed me down. "Just ignore them," he whispered at me, and I couldn't help but smile back.

We kept jogging, but didn't get far before another voice called out behind us, closer this time. "Hey, where you going fags?" I looked behind me, and Joe, Tyler, and Liam had all started running around the track, rapidly catching up to us.

I swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat and looked forward again. Dan didn't say anything this time, and I sighed. Well, this was happening.

After only a few seconds, the three of them caught up to us and started running in a small half circle around us. Liam and Tyler ran up on either side of us, and Joe right up in between us.

"So, Dan," Joe said with a wicked grin, "how have you been?"

"I've been great, Joe," Dan strained out with a deadpan expression.

Then Liam, who was on my left, shoved me roughly, making me trip and fall sideways into a startled Dan. He caught me by the shoulders before I fell over and helped me stand back up straight. The three around us laughed, and I just kept my head down.

"Wow. You know it's sad, really. It's one thing to become a fag, but was this little shit the best you could do? Come on Howell, you're better than that!" Joe said, his lackeys both laughing stupidly.

"Just piss off, will you?" Dan snapped, and I cringed. This whole confrontation was making me uncomfortable. Usually they were getting the beating over with already, I didn't like this drawn out state of taunting.

"Aw, come on Howell, we're just making conversation," Tyler said, a falsely friendly tone to his voice.

"Yeah, no need to be rude. We're just saying you can do so much better than little Lester here," Joe said in mock defence, smirk still ever present on his stupid face.

"I mean, what're friends for?" Liam taunted. Dan opened his mouth to speak, but snapped his jaw shut before he did, apparently deciding against whatever he was going to say.

"What, Dan, cat got your tongue?" Tyler spit out at him, trying to shove at Dan as well, but his hand was quickly slapped away.

"Or is that just Lester?" Liam said, to which all of them burst into laughter.

"Yeah, Dan, haven't you told him he's not supposed to actually eat it yet?" Joe asked, reaching over and shoving me again. But this time he shoved me in the direction of Liam, who most definitely didn't try to catch me. So instead I fell to the dirt, which was slightly muddy. Some brown spots stained my white shirt.

I looked up at everyone around me, three of who were laughing. I took a deep breath to bite back tears. Dan looked like he was about to explode, but didn't try to get through them to help me.

"What, Dan?" Joe practically spit at Dan. "Not going to punch me today? Not going to help your boyfriend?" Then Joe turned and actually spit at me, managing to hit me on the cheek. And that's when Dan exploded.

"Just fuck off Joe," he may as well have growled. "He's not my boyfriend, I'm not disgusting! Just leave us the fuck alone you prick!" Dan said, shoving Joe in the side. He didn't fall over, he just laughed maliciously. 

I wanted to protest, but I just bit my tongue, figuring that would not help the situation. What the fuck, Dan? This time I actually started crying, the tears mixing with the spit on my face. I tried to rub it away, but I just got it back in my eye. It stung. Joe looked like he was about to hit Dan back, but he was interrupted.

"Hey!" a loud voice called from a bit across the field. All of us looked over to see the gym teacher looking at our small group. "Joe, Liam, Tyler, Dan, quit slacking! I know you can go faster than that! And Lester, get up!"

They all called over a variation of "yes ma'am!" back to her, and Joe, Tyler, and Liam all sprinted away, laughing their asses off. Liam even kicked my leg on the way past. It didn't hurt much, but I still flailed away from it.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them again I was greeted with Dan looking at me apologetically and holding out a hand to me. Flickering my eyes around everywhere but his face, I grabbed it and let him yank me up. I sniffled and wiped tears from my cheeks.

"Sorry Phil, guess I've got to run," he said, sounding like he felt terrible.

I flashed a weak smile at him. "You did not just make that pun at me Howell," I said, probably not sounding like I cared. Probably because I really didn't.

He laughed weakly back, and we exchanged another set of awkward not quite smiles before he ran off ahead again.

* * * * *

By the end of gym class I was so tired of panting and running around the field alone that I was offended by the very concept of grass. I made sure to wait the last few minutes out right by the door, teacher be damned. So when the teacher blew her whistle I was the first one back inside. I quickly made my way to the locker room and was changed and leaving before most of the class had even got into the building.

I made sure to avoid any confrontation with anyone, and just hastily made my way to the cafeteria. Since I was a few minutes early, Pj wasn't there yet, so I dropped my bag on the floor, collapsed into the chair, and stuffed my head into my arms, blocking out the world around me until people flooded into the room.

After only a few seconds, however, I heard someone clearing their throat next to me. I had little doubt about who it was, so I didn't bother lifting my head to check.

"Phil," I heard Dan say from behind me. I ignored him. "Phil, please," he said after he accepted that I wasn't going to answer. His voice was not loud or confident.

I sighed and lifted my head. I was not going to be a child. "What, Dan?" I asked, still not looking at him even though I looked up. His voice was sad, which meant his eyes would probably make me want to die. He sat down in the seat next to mine.

"I'm sorry, Phil. I know I've had to say this way too many times since we became friends, but I'm really sorry. I definitely crossed a line," Dan said, and I couldn't help but snort.

"Well that's an understatement," I retorted, not really caring how tired my voice sounded at this point. 

"Phil, I didn't mean it-" Dan started.

"But you said it didn't you? You didn't mean to hurt my feelings, but you knew perfectly well you were hurting my feelings," I interrupted, looking up to glare at him. His eyes were sad and swirly and doing that thing that made my stomach flip, but I continued anyways. "You called me disgusting, Dan. And it's not even the first time you have. But the first time I told you it bothered me and you apologised, and it was okay because you didn't know it was a big deal. Well, you knew, but you did it again. How am I supposed to believe you're sorry?" I snapped, and he seemed taken aback for a moment. Then he bit his lip, thinking and looking like he was about to cry.

"Phil, I'm s-" he cut himself off, shaking his head. Dan took a deep breath and started again. "I know it was shitty. I'm not trying to deny that. I just...that was not the kind of situation where the truth would have benefitted our situation."

I bit my lip this time. He did have a point. I, if not both of us, would have almost definitely left gym very injured had we said we were actually together. Of course I knew that. "But you didn't have to call me disgusting," I said in a small voice, looking down at my lap.

"Yes, I know, I shouldn't have. I wasn't thinking, I let them get to me. And for that I am so so so sorry, Phil," Dan replied, his tone almost sounding like it was begging. I looked up, and god fucking dammit he looked so apologetic /I/ felt like I would burst. I sighed.

"Okay," I said, nodding but not smiling. "I'll forgive you, Dan." His face positively lit up, and mine was tempted to follow, but I restrained myself for the time being. "I just need you to promise me something."

"What, Phil? Anything," he immediately responded, seeming eager to please.

"Just promise me I'll stop having to forgive you so much," I said, looking him in the eyes.

"I promise, Phil," Dan said without hesitation, looking at me back. "I'll try harder not to fuck up so much, i swear. I'll be better."

I let myself smile. "Thank you, Dan."

"No, don't thank me. That shouldn't even be a problem in the first place, it's my fault," he said, and I just waved him off.

"Whatever. We can ignore that now," I said, and he smiled at me. That only made my smile grow wider. "Besides, we never actually did talk about if we would tell people or not, I can't really get too mad at you for that."

"Oh yeah," Dan said, looking a bit surprised, "we never did talk about that, did we?"

"Nope," I replied. "We should probably do that. Do you want to tell people? And if so how many people? Which people?"

Dan looked hesitant, and I raised an eyebrow at him but patiently waited for him to form his thoughts. "I think," he said after a little while, "it might be best if we don't tell people. Is that okay?" 

I thought about it. Was it okay for me? It was okay for us not to tell everybody, especially people like Joe and his stupid thugs. "Yeah, that's okay, Dan, if you aren't ready," I said, but something felt a bit off. "Just clarifying though, who counts as 'people?'" 

"Well, uh," Dan started, still seeming to be trying to articulate his thoughts, "would it be okay if we just, uh, didn't tell anyone for a while?"

"What, not even like Pj, or Chris, or our parents?" I asked, biting my lip. I didn't want to be too hard on him. I knew he was still struggling with this whole thing. After all, it was still his first instinct to call me disgusting.

"Yeah, if that's okay..." Dan trailed off. He seemed to see the trepidation on my face and rushed to defend himself. "You know, it's just that, like...it's just...it's /you/, Phil-"

"Me?" I interrupted, not being able to help feeling hurt. "What did I do?"

Dan's eyes blew wide, and he rushed to speak again. "No no no, Phil, you did nothing. It's more...it's more what I did, you know? I've spent so many years being a dick to you, how would it look if we told people we were together?" he said, and it felt like a slap in the face. I just stared at Dan for a solid thirty seconds while he squirmed beneath my gaze.

"So," I said in a small voice, "you're...embarrassed by me?" I said, willing Dan to correct me. To rush into defence again with another "no no no." When he hesitated again, I felt a lump in my throat.

"No, Phil, I wouldn't call it /embarrassed/" he defended weakly. I opened my mouth to speak, but snapped my jaw shut again when I saw Pj approaching the table.

"Hey guys," he greeted casually. "How was your weekend?"

"It was good," I answered, smiling at him. Because despite all of what had happened since school started, it really had been a good weekend. Also not doing so probably would have looked suspicious.

"Cool," Pj said, smiling back. "Do anything particularly fun?"

"Not really," Dan replied nonchalantly, and the frown returned to my face. Luckily Pj didn't seem to notice.

"What about you Peej? You and Chris do anything interesting?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows at him and smirking when he blushed.

Pj started rambling on about his weekend, about doing this and that and something about some giant bug and broken glass, but I wasn't really listening. Especially not after a few minutes into the story when I felt a hand squeeze my own under the table. I didn't pull mine away, but I did look over at Dan.

I look over and saw those perfect eyes that looked so happy yet sad and were swirling like a sandstorm. Those perfect eyes that made me smile no matter what because I couldn't stay mad when almost nothing had happened. This was just something stupid, surly.

Dan hadn't even got to finish speaking, I was sure there was a perfectly logical explanation. So what if he didn't want to tell people? That was his choice as much as it was mine, after all. Yeah. His entire face had "I fucked up" written all over it, and I could almost convince myself he hadn't meant it.

It was just totally a misunderstanding.

Yeah, I totally wasn't upset with him.

Except I totally was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS THEYRE MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE THING ON THE PLANET I LOVE YOU IF YOU GIVE ME FEEDBACK  
> yooooooo it's been a while  
> How're my peeps  
> Anyways  
> THIS FIC HIT 10K HITS IM SCREAMING HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE THANK YOU FRENS O MINE  
> ahem  
> Sorry about that, how unprofessional of me  
> Anywho  
> Sorry I was away so long. School and stuff. Yeah.  
> Let's see, what's happened since I last updated? Probably not that much tbh  
> I saw Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children and it was SOSOSO GOOD OMG IF ANYONE ELSE SAW IT AND WANTS TO FANGIRL IM OPEN EVEN THOUGH THAT WAS A WHILE AGO IDC IT WAS AMAZING  
> Oh also to anyone who actively follows HPTI I apologise so deeply I don't know what happened I'll try better I promise  
> In more news the details have been changed this fic will be 24 chapters as the current plan works out. I probably said 23 last time, but this chapter ended up being way longer than I expected so it's been extended. I THINK my new plan should work but I'll keep you posted on any plan changes  
> Anyways that's enough of your time I've taken up  
> PLEASE GIVE ME ALL THE FEEDBACK YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG OR RIGHT POINT OUT TYPOS PLEASE I LOVE YOU ALL I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN NEXT UPDATE WILL BE SORRY FAM LOVE YOU ALL  
> HOPE YOU ENJOYED


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOOOO ITS A LOT SOONER THIS TIME BET YALL WERENT EXPECTING THIS

Dan and I didn't really talk much in maths, but he did spend the entire time holding my hand under the table. It worked out nicely, seeing as he was left-handed and I was right-handed, so I could appreciate his soft hand in mind while also doodling in my notebook. I was still upset with Dan, but I was beyond excited to be able to use my wrist again. It was still a bit sore, but I couldn't help but lose myself in the little drawings on my page.

After a while the bell rang and I was shocked out of the little daze I had fallen into. Dan giggled at me, and I blushed, to which he just giggled more. "Shut up," I mumbled, looking down at my lap.

"I can't, you're just too cute," he said, making me roll my eyes at how cheesy he was.

"Clearly not cute enough," I muttered to myself, though based on how Dan immediately frowned and bit his lip, I figured he had heard. Dan sighed.

"Come on," he said. Dan stood, and I felt his hand slip out of mine. "Let's go to art."

He turned towards the door, picking up his bag. I stood up after him, and a crumpled paper fell off of my chair. I hadn't noticed it was there until it hit the floor. I bent down and picked it up, uncrumpling it as I straightened back up and picked my own bag up.

I furrowed my brow as I was met with a copy of our maths notes with Dan's name written on it, his messy scrawl covering the page with half assed equations. Though after a quick scan I noticed in the bottom corner there was a drawing of a rose. It wasn't a good drawing. But I could tell it had attempts at details. It had layers of petals, a few crooked thorns, and even an attempt at shading. Underneath Dan had written "I'm sorry." I couldn't stop the smile that enveloped my face.

I looked up to see Dan looking at his feet, blushing and kicking at the floor. I folded the page and shoved it in my pocket, quickly moving towards him across the class. Everyone else had left the room, including the teacher, and we weren't in view of the door's small window, so as soon as I arrived I gave Dan a quick kiss on the cheek. He looked up at me, still blushing but smiling slightly.

Dan moved to peck me on the lips, but I held him a few centimetres away by the chest. "Uh uh uh," I tutted, smirking openly at him, "which absolute dork just made it very clear we have to get to class?"

Dan made a pouty face at me, and I just rolled my eyes. "You're the worst," he said in a pouty tone, and I giggled. I was still upset with him, really, but I figured it was best to at least get through the school day without fighting anymore. We could talk more in private later. I was just going to grin and bear and repress until final bell.

"Well, you can't have a kiss until you answer me," I said, still smirking, to which he let out a long, exasperated sigh.

"This dork did," he mumbled, and I smiled and pecked his lips. We smiled at each other briefly, and I saw those beautiful eyes. They looked a bit uneasy, and I couldn't blame them. But they still looked warm and soft; they felt like a fireplace when I looked at them. They were warm and bright but when I got too close sparks flew off to hit me. 

We walked to class, and I was practically jumping out of my skin as we walked through the otherwise tired and unhappy hallway of teenagers. I was going to art class, and I would finally get to work on my piece again. I would get to properly draw. I couldn't remember being this excited in a while. Dan seemed to notice, staring at me the entire walk. I barely even registered that though.

We got to the room and took our seat in the corner, gathering our materials. It felt so good to gather mine again. We sat back down with our stuff, and I looked over to see Dan staring with his mouth agape. I followed his gaze down to the table to where I had set my own still life, and I blushed.

"What?" I asked shyly. I didn't know what to make of his look. It was honestly freaking me out. Dan's eyes briefly flickered up to me, but he quickly resumed his stare at my artwork. I squirmed a bit in my seat, clearing my throat awkwardly.

After a few moments, Dan just breathed out, "Holy shit Phil." He shook his head to take his gaze away from it, but he still looked slightly...awed? I wasn't sure.

"What, Dan? What'd I do?"

He looked at me with wide eyes and wildly gestured to my piece. "That! Holy shit Phil, that is so fucking good! It looks like it's in fucking 3D!" he exclaimed, and I blushed some more, stuttering over some unintelligible sounds.

"Oh," I managed to get out stupidly. "Thanks...I mean, it's alright, yeah. I've been working on it for a little while-well, except the last few weeks. But of course you knew that, you were here...uh-yeah," i rushed out, mentally facepalming. I never knew what to say to compliments, but for some reason my face was flushing twice as hard as usual just because it was /Dan./

Who was somehow so perfectly sweet even while being a total asshole.

I looked back up when he laughed, glaring and shoving him lightly in the shoulder. He rolled his eyes at me. I cleared my throat.

"Anyways, yeah. I should probably work on it right now, seeing as I haven't been able to," I said, looking over at him, biting my lip. I knew I was technically assigned to help him figure out how the hell to do his (teacher's orders), or at the very least engaging him in some sort of conversation (social convention's orders), but I wanted to draw. My wrist was finally better and all I wanted to do was work on my picture, get lost in that sweet dimension of lines and shading.

Dan nodded next to me, and I knew he understood what I meant. "Course Phil. You haven't been able to in weeks, and you've been helping me every day. Go nuts," he said with a smile I couldn't help but return.

So I did. Within just a minute or two I was gone. The room around me faded, and all that was real was my hand and the page. Lead making lines making shapes making pictures. Pictures that don't exist anywhere but this special place in my mind I haven't gotten to go to in far too long. I stayed this way for a while, until talking to my right snapped me out of it.

"Hey Dan," Sofia said, her and Beatrice leaning against our table. My head snapped up, quickly shaking off the deer-in-headlights look I was surly spotting.

"Hey Phil," Beatrice added, and I couldn't help but smile. They really were nice girls.

"Hey guys," Dan said, not quite smiling.

"Haven't seen you in a while, Dan," Beatrice said. "Where've you been since the fallout with Joe and them?"

Dan hesitated a moment before carefully saying, "I've gotten some new friends."

"We've noticed," Sofia said, rolling her eyes.

"Whatever," Beatrice dismissed with a wave of her hand. "Anyways, this is your last chance to say you'll come to prom this year," she said, both of them smiling sweetly at him.

"Um, I don't know..." Dan started, scratching the back of his head. My eyes were subconsciously trained on the back of his head where he was turned away from time towards the girls. Out of my peripheral vision, I caught Sofia's eye. She smiled at me.

"You can come too, Phil, if you like," she said, causing me to do a double take. What? Dan also quickly snapped over to look at me, both of our eyes blown wide.

"Yeah," Beatrice added with a soft smile, "What Joe and the others did wasn't cool, Phil. You seem decent."

I blushed and looked down, not really having a response. But Dan surprised me by speaking up.

"Actually, girls, I already have a date," he said, making my head snap back up to where he was still staring at me despite addressing the two behind him.

"Really?" Sofia asked, sounding a bit disappointed.

"Who?" Beatrice asked, and I stopped breathing in the moments before he spoke again. His eyes were still wide, the fire crackling inside.

"Phil," he said, and my jaw literally dropped open. We stared at each other for a few seconds, him shyly smiling at my bewildered face.

"I fucking called it, Sof," Beatrice said. I looked over at them, and they were both smiling widely at one another.

"Bullshit, I am the one who called it," Sofia said, and I just looked between all three of them, utterly baffled at what was happening.

No one spoke for a while longer, and eventually the girls exchanged more glances. "Well, we'll leave you two alone then," Sofia said.

"Yeah. Have fun at prom," Beatrice said with a wink. They both giggled and walked away.

Dan and I continued to stare at each other, neither of us said anything. I got lost in my thoughts after a little while longer, so it was startling when Dan spoke again.

"So, what do you say? Do you believe me now?" Dan said, looking at me intensely with those burning warm eyes. "You're not fucking disgusting or embarrassing Phil, and I'm a shit friend - boyfriend - to make you think so for even a second. I am so sorry. I promise I'll be better. No more trying. It clearly doesn't work," Dan said, and I was left speechless for about the billion and third time today. It wasn't until I felt wetness well up in my eyes that I blinked and coughed.

"Thank you, Dan," I said, because I simply couldn't come up with words to express how happy I actually was. "Really, I just...sorry, I don't really know what to say...thank you Dan. Just thank you. I needed to hear that."

"Of course, Phil. It's my fault for not saying it sooner," Dan said. "So...what do you say?" he added on with a little smirk, making me raise my eyebrow.

"What do I say about what?" I asked, confused.

"Prom. Want to go together?" he said, looking hopeful. I was only confused further.

"I thought you weren't interested in prom," I said, not liking the idea.

"Yeah, I wasn't. Because it would just be a more formal event I would have to put on an act, be cool, maybe even bring a girl. It sounded horrible. Now I've got someone I want to go with, and I've rid myself from the pretence...what do you say?" Dan said, smiling over at me, looking excited. We were not on the same page.

"Dan..." I started cautiously, not wanting to hurt his feelings. He just looked so damn hopeful. "You know how I feel about prom..."

"Aw, come on, now you've got me to go with. It would be fun," he said with a little smirk. I look back at him, unimpressed. I saw his smirk falter.

"I'm sorry Dan. Prom is just...I really don't want to go to prom, okay? It's not worth it. Joe and all his cronies will still be there, and they'll still all be drunk, and no one likes me and what's the point of going if that's the case?" I said, frowning as I said the words. Dan looked at me for a moment, appearing hurt, before he bit his lip and nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, course Phil," he said, slapping a smile back. "That was silly, you're right. Let's just get back to art class."

I smiled back at him, relieved. "Thank you, Dan. But really? You want me to just zone out again. Because that's what'll happen," I inform him, smiling. I couldn't not smile thinking about the feeling I got when drawing.

"Yeah. You're fascinating to watch, Lester," Dan said with a smirk. I blushed.

"You were watching me?" I asked, realising how stupid the question was as I asked it.

"Course. You were just so focussed. Biting your lip, not bothering with the fringe in your eyes. It was adorable," he said, giggling as I blushed more.

"Stop trying to make me blush. It's working," I said, laughing a bit with him. Dan winked at me.

"I can tell. No but seriously, Phil. When you were drawing you were positively mesmerising. You were just so into what you were doing. It all just came so naturally. You were drawing constantly for like fifteen minutes and I only saw you pick up an eraser once. You are so fucking good," Dan said, dead serious. I bit my lip.

"Thanks, Dan."

We smiled at each other. We were going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE COMMENT YOURE ALL SO SWEET I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS FEEDBACK KEEPS ME GOING MAN  
> Wow okay I wasn't expecting to finish this so soon  
> GO me  
> It's 3:30am I don't even care I did the thing guys  
> Guess what happened today! SO has anyone heard of wishicouldunreadthat on tumblr? They write mostly smut or resale deep messed up psychological fics that I've been obsessing over for like a year, and tHEY SAID THEY WOULD WANT TO COLLABORATE WITH ME. SO IM TRYING TO LEARN HOW TO COLLABORATE WITH PEOPLE. Pardon me raising my voice, I'm just very excited.  
> Anyways, thanks for reading everyone, I just hit 10.5k reads, that's so happy! I love you all so much! Comment what you think or just to talk idc I love you all I really hope you enjoyed this chapter the torture's over I swear :)


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

That day after school I went over to Dan's house again, as it had become a sort of routine. My mum was even starting to get suspicious, yesterday having asked where I kept disappearing off to. It was totally worth it to get a strange look when I said I had been working on a history project with a friend with the biggest, stupidest grin I could bear. She stared at me a while then merely shook her head and mumbled something about how strange kids today were.

We hadn't done all that much so far this afternoon, mostly because I had an English test tomorrow and I made Dan quiz me on the material. That didn't last long though, because he kept making jokes and I kept laughing and then scolding him because I needed to work. I loved being around Dan, but he was the farthest thing I'd ever met from productive.

When I finally sighed and shoved my notes away he smiled and turned up the music playing in the background. I rolled my eyes at his childish expression, but didn't protest when he pushed me back on the bed and cuddled up next to me. Goddamn that boy was warm.

"So I was thinking," Dan said after a while, "that if we don't go to prom maybe we could go see a movie or something that night."

"Oh yeah? Why, what movie do you want to see?" I asked, because there certainly hadn't been anything that had caught my attention recently.

"I don't know, it just seems like the thing to do, you know?" he said, like the reasoning was obvious. Now I definitely didn't have a problem with going on a movie date with Dan, but I couldn't help but feel like I was missing something.

"No, why's that? Not complaining, I'd love to see a movie, just why that night?" I asked, absentmindedly playing with Dan's hair. We had been smushed on the covers for so long it was starting to curl, which made me smile.

"It just seems like...it's prom night, and I have a hot boyfriend. It feels like we should do /something/ if we aren't actually going to go," he said quietly. I pondered it a moment before replying.

"Okay. Again, I just don't know if there are any good films out," I said. If I wasn't laying down I would have shrugged.

"Alright. Maybe dinner, then," Dan mused. "We could go to one of the nicer places in town." I felt my face scrunch up before I could help it. Dan seemed to sense my hesitation. "What?" he said in a cautious tone. I sighed.

"That sounds lovely, it really does. I definitely want to do that at some point," I said, trying to figure out how to word my issue. "It's just that on prom night everyone books the nice but cheap places, you know? We're avoiding prom to avoid everyone there, wouldn't it be kind of counterproductive to just go the other place everyone will be?"

"Oh," he said, sounding rather dejected. "Yeah, I guess so." I bit my lip. Dan seemed to be getting upset, and I felt my stomach churn. That was one of the last things I wanted, but I couldn't shake how uneasy everything having to do with prom made me.

"Hey, but maybe we could get some pizza and watch a movie at one of our houses. Get some ice cream, sleep over?" I suggested as brightly as I could, trying to cheer him up. It didn't seem to take.

"Well that's great and all Phil," Dan started, sounding small, "but I don't know. I guess I was thinking more formal date that night? I don't know. It's not a big deal."

It hurt me to hear, and I was suddenly really glad I wasn't properly looking at Dan. That was the tone of voice that went with his sad eyes, and I couldn't stand his sad eyes.

"You were really excited about going to prom, huh?" I asked, biting my own tongue. I felt horrible, because ultimately I was the reason he wasn't going, but I really couldn't bring myself to seriously think about going to prom without feeling nauseous.

"Just because you'd look hot in a tuxedo," Dan said, and I could practically hear him forcing a smile, laughing it off. But behind his words his voice spelt out he really was excited. "Don't worry about it Phil, really."

I kissed the top of his head and closed my eyes, sighing, feeling bad. We didn't talk about prom for the rest of the night, but all the while we were taunted by the elephant in the room

* * * * *

The idea had come to me when I was nearly asleep, but a grin had immediately overtaken my face and I practically leapt out of bed.

I stayed up all night working on it, and when I was done I couldn't help but smile. It was totally worth the scolding from my mum in the morning for not getting any sleep and causing a ruckus at five in the morning.

I practically inhaled my cereal before running out the door. I usually took the bus, but school wasn't too far away and I wanted to get there early enough to set things up. Besides, I was pumped full of energy and excitement.

After I had set everything up and was stood waiting around the corner from Dan's locker, I couldn't help but wish I had thought to get a coffee. Busy fantasising about caffeine, I hardly even noticed when the halls started to fill up around me. I almost missed Dan walking up to his locker, but when he did I immediately forgot how tired I was as the excitement rushed back through me.

I peeked around the corner as he put in his combination horribly slowly. When he got his locker open he seemed startled by the folded paper that fell out. He bent to pick it over, opened it up, and I could practically see the happiness light up his eyes from across the hall.

I quickly went over to him and hugged him from behind, resting my head on his shoulder. He jumped a little and I giggled but he quickly recovered and smiled over at me.

In that moment I swear his eyes turned to pure gold, filled to the brim and glowing with stars. For all the obsessing I'd done over his eyes, I thought this might've been the prettiest I'd seen them. Paired with the smiled that was stretching out his perfect lips, it was a miracle I didn't lean over and kiss him in the middle of school.

"Not dating my ass," I heard a familiar voice say, and we both jumped a little as our gazes were pulled away from each other to the source of the sound. We were met with Chris standing their with his eyebrows raised and his hands crossed over his chest, looking incredibly sassy. Pj was standing right off his shoulder, giggling at the whole thing.

I flashed them the biggest, dumbest grin I could manage, turning back to Dan. His cheeks were rapidly turning pink, but he still looked very happy. I leaned up a bit and kissed him on the cheek, which only turned darker when I did so.

Chris outright laughed at us, shaking his head and rolling his eyes as he grabbed Pj's hand and started to turn away. I heard him mutter something along the lines of, "We'll just leave you two alone then."

I turned back to Dan, who was looking right back at me, and it was my turn to blush.

"So," I started, my voice sounding smaller than I had intended, "what do you say?" I unconsciously looked at the floor, toeing the tiles in the ground. Dan, apparently, was having none of it as he reached down and lifted my chin back up with two fingers.

"I say," he said, letting a dumb grin of his own overtake his face, "that I have the best boyfriend ever, as I can't wait." Then he did kiss me right in the middle of the hall, causing me to stop breathing in shock. 

It was just a short little peck, barely even a kiss, really, but it left me feeling like my heart had melted and left us both grinning like idiots, not really caring who was around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I even have excuses at this point? Naaaah  
> Sorry my dudes, I absolutely suck ass  
> Thank you sosososo much to anyone who has commented in these last few months. I know it may seem like I haven't cared, but 100% honest without those comments I wouldnt have even gotten what little I did do done.  
> I really cannot thank you enough for still sticking around even when I suck so much  
> Btw I will hopefully also get the next chapter of this done today  
> Or at least a decent chunk  
> But hopefully  
> So on an unrelated note from midnovember to middecember I watched the entirety of Supernatural. Woo. After I finish this and HPTI(hopefully) I have an idea for a fic in that fandom. Would anyone be interested in that? Idk whatever  
> Thanks and sort again, comments help me live :)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GET READY FOR THE ABSOLUTE MOST CHEESY AND HOPELESSLY ROMANTIC SCENE YOU HAVE EVER BORE WITNESS TO. YOU WILL BE THROWING UP AT THE VILE SUGARY SWEETNESS. GET READY.

/Deep breaths, Phil, deep breaths. You can do this./

I had been telling myself this ever since I left my house, and it hadn't seemed to have started working yet. My breathing was still coming in shallow and quick, but maybe I had tied my tie too tight. Stupid suit.

For the billionth time I loosened my tie a bit, got nervous I looked stupid, and tightened it again.

It was probably stupid to get this nervous over tonight - it was just Dan, after all. But I couldn't help it. I had tried to make everything perfect, and was extremely worried it would actually turn out to be stupid.

When I approached Dan's doorstep, though, I swallowed back all my worries. No turning back now. I managed to only stand awkwardly panicking on his front porch for like two minutes before I swallowed my pride and worked up the courage to ring the doorbell. In that moment I felt like I was going to throw up.

When the door opened, though, I felt all that melt away. My nausea cleared up, my breathing slowed, and I even let go of where my tie met with my jugular. Because I was met with Dan coming out and standing on the porch. It was relatively dark outside, but I could still see Dan relatively clearly, and I was taken aback at how gorgeous he managed to look. I didn't think I would ever get used to it.

I didn't even bother to be discreet as I checked him out, looking him head to toe. He was wearing a black suit including pants that hugged his ass amazingly and then fell in a way that definitely accentuated his lean and strong legs. Then his jacket looked so clean and sharp I suddenly felt my navy blue one looked frumpy and old. It outlined his shoulders in a way that made me stop and take a breath. His ensemble included a skinny black tie as well, and his didn't seem to be bothering him nearly as much as mine was.

Finally I got up to his head and saw his beautiful face framed by his immaculately straightened fringe. In the dark of the evening Dan's eyes looked a black that matched his suit rather stunningly, shadows somehow only enhancing the beauty of those fucking beautiful eyes. To finish off the look Dan donned a shy little smirk that was, for once, more smirk than shy, making me blush a bit. I doubted it was noticeable in the lighting.

"Like what you see, Lester?" he asked coyly, gesturing at himself.

I winked. "You know it." He laughed and shoved my arm.

"You really are a perv, Phil. You hide it behind the cute little shy persona and innocent doodling and precious little tongue-sticking-out-when-you-smile, but I'm into your game," Dan replied, sounding a lot more serious than I intended, making me laugh.

"You caught me," I conceded.

"Though you don't look half bad yourself," Dan said, not missing a beat. He playfully slapped my ass, and I yelped a bit in surprise. "I knew I wanted to see you in a suit for a reason."

After I got over the initial shock of the action, I laughed. "Who's the perv now?" I rolled my eyes when his only response was a cheeky smirk. I bent out my arm in his direction. "Now shall we get going?" I asked, one eyebrow raised. 

He looked at my extended elbow for a second before smacking it away, still smirking, and grabbing my hand instead.

"Lead the way," Dan said with a smile and an unnecessarily elaborate gesture to the street. I returned the smile and did just that, leading him down his driveway and along the road by the hand.

After a few turned corners of comfortable silence, Dan finally cleared his throat.

"So where exactly are we going? Your invitation mentioned our own little prom experience, but you weren't specific."

I stopped walking and but my lip for a second, deciding carefully how to respond. "Well if I wasn't specific then why would I be now? What would the point of being mysterious be if I were to spoil it right before we got there?" I kept walking, smiling to myself as an exasperated sigh came from my left.

"You're so stupid sometimes Phil. I don't know why I put up with you," Dan said, perfectly deadpanned.

I turned towards him and smirked again. "Clearly because of my hot body," I said, striking some ridiculous model pose.

Dan laughed and hit my shoulder, but I didn't miss him whisper, "Well you're not wrong." I blushed and grabbed his hand again, resuming our journey through town.

After a few more minutes of walking I ducked off into the tree line at the edge of town, pleased when Dan made no sounds of disagreement or puzzlement, just going along with it. We walked until the tree line broke again, leading to the small clearing near the little stream. I looked back at Dan, and my heart started racing in nervousness again. What if he didn't like it? What if he thought I was stupid?

I shook my head. I was in too deep now. Before a question inevitably rose from his mouth about what we were doing in the woods in the dark, I let go of his hand and scurried to the other side of the clearing, where I was keeping my little portable battery. I pressed a button and the whole clearing lit up.

Dan looked up in amazement as I turned on the fairy lights I had strung through all the trees surrounding the clearing. It had taken hours and I had scraped my legs several times in the process, but my god was it worth it when I saw the look on Dan's face.

At last I could see his eyes, and my whole body felt like it was on fire. I had seen them lit up in happiness and emotion before, but this was nothing like that. Hundreds of reflected little balls of light lit up his eyes this time, wide with awe at the scene before him. I had never seen anything like it. It was practically indescribable. The only words i could think of to encompass the feeling seeing him standing there - starstruck at the scene before him, arms hanging limply at his sides and the universe filling up his eyes and mind and body and soul - were Dan and /love./

My brain didn't really feel the need to distinguish between the two.

My heart fluttered as the words crossed my mind, and I was left standing there, staring at him, breathless.

After who knows how long of us frozen there, staring, Dan finally looked over at me, and my heart fluttered again. It was overwhelming after a few moments, and I found myself looking down and blushing, heart racing, suddenly concerned and nervous once more about whether or not this whole thing was stupid.

A few more moments passed before I heard the crinkle of leaves and twigs and whatever else is found on forest floors in springtime. I didn't even have a chance to look up before Dan was pulling me in for a kiss that made me feel like he looked standing in the fairy lit woods. I felt all my insides bursting and cheering and I didn't know what to do with myself. For a while I just stood there like a rag doll, and eventually he backed off. But that snapped me out of the shock and haze and I quickly took a breath and pulled him back in for another kiss, and I was flying.

We kissed until we couldn't breathe, and then Dan just smiled at me dazedly. I couldn't imagine I wore a dissimilar expression. Our foreheads rested together and I laughed. Nothing was funny, I was just so full of joy I didn't know what to do with myself. After a moment Dan joined in too, and then I kissed him quickly again before pulling him in for a hug.

"So what do you think?" I asked breathlessly, to which he laughed again.

"I love it, Phil. It's beautiful," he replied, and my heart skipped again at that word. I smiled and turned around, turning our attention back to the evening and our surroundings instead of each other.

I pulled my phone from my coat pocket, and I pulled up the playlist I had planned. I plugged it into the little speaker I had brought and hit play. The sound of Fall Out Boy echoed through the clearing, and I heard Dan laugh again. I turned around and smiled at him numbly, grin stretching my cheeks until it would have bordered on painful had I not been so high on Dan.

I pulled out a picnic basket from behind one of the rocks, and Dan laughed again. I joined him.

I set out a blanket on the ground and sat on it. "Care to join me for a fancy dinner?" I asked, opening the basket to reveal a couple thermoses and Tupperware containers filled with pasta and fruit and cake. Dan grinned and sat down next to me.

"You truly are a hopeless romantic Phil," Dan said, helping me dump the food onto plates.

"I like to think I'm just romantic. It isn't hopeless if it's working, right?" I said, still smiling myself silly.

Dan nodded thoughtfully. "Well it's definitely working, that's for sure," he said, smiling just as much. "Maybe I'll just have to keep you."

"Yeah?" I asked, picking up a fork and settling into the calming atmosphere.

He pulled a face like he was pretending to ponder, rubbing his imaginary beard. "Yeah, I think so."

We spent the next hour eating, laughing when we got strawberry seeds stuck in our teeth, bathing in the fairy lights, and making far too sensual noises at our slices of cake.

Once we had packed all the plates away I stood and dusted off the dirt that had managed to find its way onto my pants. I reached my hand down in Dan's direction and, as formally as I could manage, asked, "May I have this dance?"

He muttered a comment (something about me being an absolute dork), but the exact words got lost in the feeling of him taking my hand and letting himself get pulled into my embrace.

Of course, neither of us knew how to dance, and the playlist hardly had classical music, but we eventually laughed and settled on swaying around in circles.

I looked into his eyes and now I didn't see hot chocolate or autumn or fire or stars or tears. I saw Dan.

I rested my head on his shoulder and sighed, thanking whatever gods I could think of for that stupid random seat assigning program our maths teacher used.

Because this was the happiest I could imagine: calmly swaying in the fairy lit forest to my favourite songs with the boy with art in his eyes and the music in his hands. With the boy I loved. With Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyyyyy twice in a day how's that for first update in literally forever? Maybe I'll even go for a third  
> So how sickeningly hopelessly romantic was that? See unlike Phil, I am hopelessly romantic for no one would ever wanna date me lol. So I will write fanfiction about it goddammit.  
> Anyways, that's technically the last chapter. There will be an epilogue.  
> Wild ride, wasn't it?   
> Yeah  
> I feel like I should have more to say, but...idk man, idk.  
> Comment please then I'll probably talk to you I love you all maybe I'll even write the epilogue today idk  
> Sorry this took twelve years to update.   
> Thank you all for your continue support and making me able to sauber I have a somewhat popular fic? Like that's pretty frickin cool yo. 12k+ hits? Unfathomable.  
> Aaah if I keep going I'll never stop. So thank you all for your continued support, you're all the best, I love you, I will try not to disappear for ages again and get the epilogue done soon.  
> Please point out mistakes cuz this is barely edited and I have no beta I'll go back and fix it i want it to be good for y'all.  
> YAY


	24. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOHOO

I opened the door rather violently and ran over to where Dan was lounging on his bed.

"DANDANDAND-"

"Whoa, Phil, calm down. You're going to piss off everyone else in this dorm," Dan said, grabbing me by the shoulders and laughing. I knew he had a point, but I couldn't help it. I had a right to be excited, dammit.

I settled for bouncing up and down in his hold and smiling at him until he rolled his eyes. "What is it, Phil?"

"DAN-"

"WHOA. Phil. Quietly now."

I took a deep breath and nodded, though I hadn't a chance in hell of lessening the smile practically burning my cheeks.

"Dan," I started, this time at a much more reasonable volume, "I won!"

His eyes widened and a smile overtook his face too. Dan pulled me in for a hug, practically smothering me in his shoulder, and held me there until I shoved myself away, needing air.

"Phil! That's amazing! How many people even entered that contest?" Dan exclaimed, seemingly undeterred by my lack of oxygen. I couldn't blame him.

"Just about everyone. A couple hundred people per school, I think."

"And how many people won?"

I couldn't help my grin. "Seven, from this university."

Dan went to pull me back in for a hug, but this time I hugged him back, navigating my head to a place where I could breathe properly.

I couldn't believe it, still, despite my professor having pulled me aside just about twenty minutes ago and then practically sprinting back to our room to yell out my excitement at Dan. I was still panting from the exertion, and after we pulled away from our embrace he seemed to notice. 

Dan laughed. "Phil, you're going red in the face; you look like a tomato. And you're panting. Did you run here?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I was excited to tell you!" I was met with Dan's smirk.

"Lester, you're about as in shape as you were when I met you. Would it really kill you to run every now and again?" he said, standing up from the bed.

"Clearly not, I just did and I'm not dead," I said, returning his smirk.

"Yeah, but you almost are."

"Almost being the key phrase there."

"Phil-"

"Shut up and let me be happy. My painting's going to be in the gallery on Sunday! A bunch of big fancy art people are going to be there!" I practically squealed. Dan just giggled at me.

He crossed the room over to our desks and dug out as calendar from the drawer.

"Oh shoot," I said, my smile faltering, "isn't your recital on Sunday?"

Right now Dan was in uni with an undeclared major, but he had gone to the same liberal arts school that I ended up at. He decided to go for music classes, get some sort of degree in piano, but he wanted to keep his options open a little while longer. But alongside his classes, he signed up for lessons from some prestigious old lady who was way too into classical. I questioned Dan when he initially signed up, but he said she was a big deal, so I had left it at that.

Turns out Dan actually loved classical music, always humming it while we were getting our work done. And apparently this lady really liked him, and so she invited him to play in some big showcase recital this weekend. I was extremely proud of him.

"No, that's on Saturday," he said, smiling over his shoulder at me as he pencilled in what I assumed was my gallery showcase on the calendar.

I may or may not have squealed like a little girl. "Ugh, I'm so excited! Like how did I even win? My painting-"

"Uh uh uh, I am going to stop you right there. Your painting was absolutely gorgeous, and you deserve everything it's going to get you," Dan said sternly, crossing his arms over his chest, facing me fully again.

I got up and crossed over to him, crossing my arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. "Well I couldn't have done it with out my beautiful muse," I said, grinning when he blushed.

"Shut up," he mumbled without conviction.

"Nope."

I turned to look over on my desk where the painting in question lay. On the canvas there were swirls of black and brown and gold, and every time I looked at it my heart started to race. The colours danced together and it reminded me of huddling up with Dan by a fire, sipping hot cocoa and hiding from the brisk of autumn.

Because I had finally painted his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all my lovely readers who are still here even though I suck! Please comment, because every word means the world to me, positive or constructive, and I just love to talk to you all. It makes my day every single time I get any comment at all. And please feel free to give me criticism, lord knows I don't have a beta and suck at editing and it is very much appreciated if you can point out things to fix for me.  
> So...  
> This is it, huh?  
> Who thought I'd actually manage to finish this and turn it into something I'm kinda proud of? Cuz trust me there were times I didn't think I could.  
> Thankyouthankyouthankyou all of you who were so nice to me and read my story and talked to me. It sounds stupid but honestly comments telling me I'm a good writer brighten my mood for at least a week. Thank you it's amazing you're still even here just thank you.  
> I know at some point I'll get around to writing something else. Hopefully finish HPTI in the next century, hopefully something comes of this collab I've discussed with another's writer, maybe I'll dabble in a new fandom? I'm probably going to write a supernatural fic sometime soon. Would that interest anybody? No? Oh well.  
> I'm gunna stop rambling now cuz you all know I'll never stop  
> But thank you  
> Thank you  
> I love you all you're the best  
> Thank you  
> (i did it woo!)


End file.
